"No, Groucho is not my real name. I'm breaking it in for a friend."

-Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/12616863

When twins came, their father, Dan Dunn,
Gave 'Edward' as name to each son.
When folks said, "Absurd!"
He replied, "Ain't you heard
That two Eds are better than one?"

-Berton Braley

Limericks
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4541752

"If given time, a cat will name itself. We have prematurely named a newcomer, only to have it correct us later. For example, Mouse began life as Fat Minnie. Eventually, she slimmed down and took to bringing us mice or leftover mouse parts in the middle of the night."

-David Love

Cat Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4213750

Police Officer: Name, please.
Motorist: Wilhelm von Corquerinski Popolavawitz.
Police Officer: Well, don't let me catch you speeding again.

Law Enforcement Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/5235262

"Your name is your destiny."

-Author Unknown

Overheard: "Yes, I'll never forget good old what's-his-name."

Miscellaneous Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/8390874

"Names that had been suggested and rejected for the...seven dwarfs in "Snow White" were Scrappy, Hoppy, Dirty, Dumpy, Hungry, Thrifty, Weepy, Doleful, Awful, Grabby, Flabby, Shifty, Helpful, Crabby, Daffy, Puffy, Chesty, Busy, Biggy, Graspy, and Snoopy. I'm glad that Disney decided not to use the name Snoopy."

Charles Schwarz, U.S. cartoonist and creator of the comic "Peanuts"

Remember, it doesn't matter what names they call you, only what names you answer to!

"A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches."

-"Holy Bible", 'Book of Proverbs', chapter 22, verse 1

Christian Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4171195

Telephone Call

Are you there?

Who are you, please?

Watt.

What's your name?

Watt's my name.

Yes, what's your name?

My name is John Watt.

John what?

Yes.

I'll be by to see you this afternoon.

All right. Are you Jones?

No. I'm Knott.

Will you tell me your name then?

Will Knott.

Why not?

My name is Knott.

Not what?

Telephone Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/10895798

A Poem of Girl’s Names

Abigail, Adeline, Alberta,
Bernadette, Holly, Dolly, Ada,
Cheryl, Carolyn, Charlotte, Fay,
Diane, Deborah, Donna, Kay,
Elizabeth, Iris, and Darlene,
Francine, Emily, Kate, Kathleen,
Gertrude, Gilda, Faye, Irene,
Heather, Rhonda, and Helene,
Isabel, Iris, and Christina,
Jeannie, Julie, Joyce, Janina,
Karen, Kim, Kitty, Adella,
Lisa, Leslie, Linda, Laura,
Michelle, Melinda, Martha, Maureen,
Nora, Nancy, Nicole, Noreen,
Otille, Ruth, Trixie, Olympia,
Patty, Pearl, Peggy, Patricia,
Queenie, Phyllis, Debbie, Suzanne,
Rita, Sharon, Mandy, Roseanne,
Sandy, Sybil, Sally, Susie,
Tammy, Liza, Tracy, Trudy,
Ursula, Dawn, Undine, Uraina,
Virginia, Viv, Val, Victoria,
Wilma, Stephanie, Wendy, Wanda,
Xavia, Bonnie, Kim, and Brenda,
Yvonne, Robin, Jane, and Joanie,
Zenobia, Alva, Faith, and Rosie.

-Christine Loya, age 11

Poetry Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/7399072

True story.
I once worked with a beautiful, statuesque black woman whose name was America Foxy. When she stopped modeling, sje decided to keep her "stage name". She got married and was soon pregnant with twins. Both were girls and she named them ... wait for it.
Kinda and Sorta
Kinda Foxy and Sorta Foxy

Parents sometimes do funny things when naming their children. I know of one woman who gave all of her sons names beginning with the letter 'A': Aaron, Andrew, and Anthony. Her thinking was that if they had to stand in a line with other children, in alphabetical order, they would be at the front of the line, and therefore wouldn't miss out on anything if they ran out before everyone had whatever it was. I haven't seen them in years, but I wonder if this helped them gain any advantage as they went through life.

Funny Name Change

A Somerset teenager, George Garratt, aged 19, has changed his name to Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined. The music graduate changed his name by deed poll online for £10 ($16 US). Captain Fantastic told reporters, 'I wanted to be unique. I decided upon a theme of superheroes.'

The teenager, from Glastonbury, Somerset, England, added that he thought the new name was 'crazy', and that his grandmother was no longer speaking to him. Why are we not surprised?