"There was a man, and they called him mad,
For the more he gave, the more he had."

-Author Unknown

Epigrams
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/10537784

"Make yourself a blessing to someone. Your kind smile or pat on the back just might pull someone back from the edge."

-Carmelia Elliott

Happy Thoughts
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6910324

Cheap Husband

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.
"That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.
"That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.
"What I mean is," said Tim, "I'd like to see something really cheap."
The clerk handed him a mirror.

Money Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6778856

A Helping Teen

A fifteen-year-old boy came bounding into the house and found his mom in bed. He asked if she were sick or something. He was truly concerned.
Mom replied that, as a matter of fact, she didn't feel too well.
The son replied, "Well, don't worry a bit about dinner. I'll be happy to carry you down to the stove."

"It is more blessed to give than to receive."

-"Holy Bible", 'Acts of the Apostles', chapter 20, verse 35

Indeed, I think someone once said that it was twice blessed!

Christian Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4171195

"Presents, I often say, endear absents."

-Charles Lamb

The exchange of Christmas presents ought to be reciprocal rather than retaliatory.

Christmas Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/5576139

"Gifts open doors."

-Author Unknown

Wisdom
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/3035567

A man asked his wife, "What would you like the most for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again."
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park, the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, and the Wall of Fear. She did not leave a single ride out.

She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Into McDonald’s they went, where she was given a Double Big Mac with extra fries and a strawberry shake. Then off to a movie theater, more burgers, popcorn, cola, and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed on the sofa. Her husband asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?” One eye opened and she groaned, “I meant the dress size.”

Marriage Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/8493782

"It takes all the fun out of a bracelet if you have to buy it yourself."

-Peggy Joyce

Clothing And Accessories Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6455980

Helping Others

A big, burly man visited the pastor’s home and asked to see the minister’s wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses.
“Madam,” he said in a broken voice, “I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400.”
“How terrible!” exclaimed the preacher’s wife. “May I ask who you are?”
The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. “I’m the landlord,” he sobbed.

A policeman was taking a vandalism report at an elementary school when he was interrupted by a six year old girl. She looked up and down at his uniform and asked, "Are you a policeman?"

"Yes, I am," he said.

"My mother told me that if I ever needed help I should ask a policeman. Is that right," the girl asked.

"Yes it is," said the policeman.

The girl extended her foot to the policeman and said, "OK, then, would you tie my shoe?"

Law Enforcement Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/5235262

Customer: "Uhh...I need help unpacking my new PC."
Tech Support: "What exactly is the problem?"
Customer: "I can't open the box."
Tech Support: "Well, I'd remove the tape holding the box closed and go from there."
Customer: "Uhhhh...ok, thanks..."

More 'Computer Humor' is on the way...

"The only gift is a portion of thyself."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

One-Liner And Quotation Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6795267

"Keeping from falling, is better than helping up."

-Author Unknown

Adversity And Perseverance Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/12304855