Why was the inchworm upset?
She was being made to convert to the metric system.

Bug Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/5079017

What is the longest word in the world?
Rubber, because it stretches.

Riddle Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6376770

What has one foot on each end and a foot in the middle?
A yardstick.

Anatomy Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6543159

Yard by yard, life’s very hard.
Inch by inch, it’s a cinch.
-Author Unknown

Epigrams
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/13739210

Measurement

Stars and atoms have no size,
They only vary in men’s eyes.

Men and instruments will blunder
When calculating things of wonder.

A seed is just as huge a world
As any ball the sun has hurled.

And stars are quite as picayune
As any splinter of the moon.

Time is but a vague device;
Space can never be precise.

Stars and atoms have a girth,
Small as zero, ten times Earth.

There is, by God’s swift reckoning,
A Universe in everything.

-A. M. Sullivan

Christian Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4171195

Origins of English (Pre-Metric) Measuring Units
Foot: The length of Charlemagne’s foot, modified in the year 1305 to be thirty-six barleycorns laid end to end.
Inch. The width across the knuckle on King Edgar’s thumb, or, obviously, three barleycorns.
Yard. The reach from King Henry I’s nose to his fingertips, a distance also twice as long as a cubit.
Cubit. The length of the arm from elbow to fingertip.
Mile. One thousand double steps of a Roman legionary (soldier). Later, Queen Bess added more feet so that the mile would equal 8 furlongs.
Furlong. The length of a furrow a team of oxen could plow before resting.
Acre. The amount of land a yoke of oxen could plow in one day.
Fathom. The span of a seaman’s outstretched arms; 880 fathoms make a mile.
The metric system uses the meter, defined as precisely 1,650,763.73 wavelengths of orange-red light emitted by the krypton-86 atom, or originally, one-ten-millionth the length of the longitude from the North Pole to the Equator. The meter is exactly 39.37 inches, or 118 barleycorns.

History Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/8034117

Fun Fact: Which is heavier, an ounce of feathers or an ounce of gold? An ounce is an ounce, so they should both weigh the same, right? Not so. Feathers are weighed in avoirdupois weight, with sixteen ounces to the pound. Gold and other precious metals, however, are weighed in troy weight, with twelve ounces to the pound. By this reckoning, an ounce of gold weighs more than an ounce of feathers.

Fun Facts And Trivia
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/12697746

“A penny will hide the biggest star in the Universe, if you hold it close enough to your eye.”

-Samuel Grafton

Astronomy Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/10934825

What is the longest word in the dictionary?
"Smiles", there is a mile between the "s's"

Hey, that's great! Thank you, Sasuva. :-)

Really Useful Metric Conversions

1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
10 cards = 1 decacards
1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
10 rations = 1 decoration
10 millipedes = 1 centipede
3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent
10 monologues = 5 dialogs
2 monograms = 1 diagram
8 nickels = 2 paradigms
2 baby sitters = 1 gramma-grampa

More ‘List Humor’ is now in development! Stay tuned . . .