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Health (in the context of gay sex)

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I've talked about safe sex a lot when I first came out. Whatever city I went to I found a refresher in the gay community. Six months ago I found out I have my first (And hopefully last) sti (which is hpv)

Why did I get a message from a guy that said he thinks I'll be fine to have sex again after surgery (as long as I don't use a condom again)

I told him that I thought not using a condom would be the worst idea (not that I haven't tried it once or twice) and here is his response:

those of us who are already HIV-positive have a different perspective on condom use than those who aren't. some guys accept the risk of other STI (syph, clap, etc.) which can be cured, unlike HIV.

but if you get surgery in the butt, you will realize that condoms are often one of the main causes of injury for the kind of problems you have been having. they irritate the anal mucosa, they spread HPV warts, so damned if you do damned if you don't.

just sayin'---
deleted_user
deleted_user
If you listen to him, that will not be your last STI. It will be the first of several. I've only had one - a curable one and I gotta be frank with you, I think this bar rat I got the clap from had more and he wanted it up the ass - surprise, bare back and do you know what he said - "I'm clean!" In addition, he had no idea what it was when I told him and refused to be tested. This gives you an idea of the minds you are dealing with. You can't trust your life to these people and not even evil of them, just fun and horny, but it has devastating consequences. Luck of the draw really - you may win a curable or the JACKPOT - the most macabre of jackpots ever - but if you don't play, you can't "win" anything so your friend is wrong. You are damned if you do. You are not damned if you don't. As far as your condition - that sucks, but the water is fine on the vanilla side of the pool.
deleted_user
deleted_user
what does the vanilla side of the pool even mean?
middleman101
middleman101
If this guy was seeking you for sex then you were being viewed as nothing more then a sex object since he was making such a big deal about condom usage. There is a point that he has not mentionned. Getting fecal matter in the body by means of natural orifices of the body sets the person up for another newly discoverred illness that has its causes in fecal matter entry via the natural orifices of the body, the penis in this case. Lesser severe concequences are infection in the urinary fact based on the same causes. So for me,personally, that type of sexuality is out. But either way the guy seemmed to want a form of bareback anal penetration from you without you using a condom and was giving all kinds of talk as to justify doing it that way......his way. That is a sign I'm wanted as a sex object only irregardless whether it comes from a man or woman. I'm bisexual.
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Rereading this after so many years was so confusing to understand.
Nowadays there is 10x more pressure to do bareback.
EVERYONE wants to be a little daredevil and take Prep or Truveda & when you don't it's well who the fuck are you to be sexually active.
I just try and find bottoms that don't mind a rainjacket in the butt. And it's wonderful that after five years I've never had a resurface of those warts. I think I would die if I had one on my penis. Another butt surgery would be upsetting, but one on my cock would kill me.
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Oh I understand now I mentioned condomless sex because I was thinking about it more. Seeing that condoms don't prevent one from giving or catching an active strain of hpv. Yet there are still plenty of other ways of using condoms that are still preventative. I was making the point that there should be more sites like this to discuss sex rationally. Hey, it's not easy to have mental illness and be a sexual person (unless you are also privileged) but for the internet to only manipulate and take advantage of me ( a lonely guy) that uses the internet. That shits not right either. I shouldn't have to go back to using the damn crappy sites for gay men, but some people are having success with them, so in that respect you are damned if you do and damned if you don't (bc then you aren't even trying to reach out via social media, but really is my ad supposed to scream that I have mental illness?)
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