Mine is the saddness, anger, and wanting to die. Before I got my meds I didn't want to do anything but sleep. So I did. I always get angry over the most smallest and most stupid things. I can't help it. I can't even be happy for my friends when they get something good becuase it makes me sad and angry that I don't have it. I wish I could be happy for them but it's rare if I am. They put on meds and to others it seems to help but..in realilty it doesn't let me express them. I feel pain a lot. Mainly in my stomach the doctor said it was my nerves acting up(I also have anxiety). Sometimes I even get sick from it. At times I feel so hopeless and I just want it all to end.

(Mixk)

I'm starting to think its an overload of negativity one gets or feels being pushed upon me.
So, lately, been trying a friends suggestion.... Everyday, I get up and write one thing I would like to change about myself with depression. I have a friend, not always there though....always busy it seems....however, its nice when someone supports one on changing ones attitude. It really does seem like this one area, didn't think about it, but I guess its two things....is changing....and feeling better that I'm making a positive move. Right now....its just to get out and walk, morning and night. that was my goal....Been doing pretty good...as long as I have my music on....love the 70's and 80's music. Anyways....know how ya all feel....however, taking charge of it....thought about finding support...I can't see too well at times, so I only walk the yard around the fence... I try to get on here now....my computer is fixed. I'll be here more.

I'm shy kitty at times...then other times....I'm okay ..., which don't help either, the back and forth thingy.... once I know ya...I talk.

agonizing sadness uncontrollable moods and thoughts pain hurt broken darkness emptiness disconnected isolating unable to reach out when you need to feeling so empty and lost....wishing it was over....

Damn weather effects my mood. I don't like rain that much.

The thing that bothers me THE MOST about my depression is when I finally decide to try to do something that would make me feel better, and it ends up making it worse. I think it's my old un-supportive relationships that I try to re-connect with that just show me over and over again that I can't have fun the same way they do.

That no one can begin to imagine how I am feeling, and being constantly judged for it.

Feeling so alone, and the worst part is there' plenty of people to turn to but I push them all away and would rather wollow in my own despair. Sad reality Depression is.....

The isolating part. I didn't go to singles group at church today, because I just couldn't. I'm cycling in the recovery of abuse and divorce. I want to be around ppl, but I don't want to be around ppl. Lol, I see now there are 2 more pages of replies to read. Oh well, ya asked how we felt, so I guess it won't disturb the flow of conversation... I feel sad, but glad to be out of the abusive, unhealthy marriage. I'm forgiving him, and myself, and it's an ongoing thing right now. Up and down right now. I learned alot about why I am attracted to the wrong type of man. And how to see that in myself. And to see what I did wrong too.

The isolation is the worst. Second to that would be the sadness, and the anger. Gotta let that go. I can't change the past, or anyone but myself. God is changing me, and I know I'm gonna be better than ok. I'm gonna be awsome again. Blessings JF

The utter desperation of it all. And having to endure the day to day-ness of this kind of life. I feel "defective"; it makes me angry that i have a defective brain! I have an extensive family hx of depression and other mental conditions, i.e.Bi-Polar, Schizophrenia, etc.

I fucking hate that I am destined to have a darkness over me. I have have had clinicla depression since age 11. I want more than anything to love myself, to love life. The overwhelming apathy keeps me from it.

HI (I think I am new to this group - confused)

I am so sad.
I keep withdrawing from people.
Everyone and everything is now viewed as a threat.
Being alone is also horrible.

the parts that bother me most,are the hopelessness,frustration,of not being in control of my emotions,or not following through on things that I should..ok,pretty much all of it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For me depression leaves me very alone, I begin to isolate, very low self esteem, hopelessness really interfears with my faith and then I feel shame. Its been Like I've lived in this box all my life and nobody, not even my therapist could grasp it. Only God knew what it is like for me. My Concentration goes by the way side and I either sleep to much or not enough. I either eat to much or not at all. I'm grasping for a life line as I spiral on down yet I can't reach it. I know it is at those times that the Lord carries me.

I wish the Lord would help me, but we don't get along right now. I need to forgive and I don't know how without sounding trite. Do you know what I mean? I just can't understand the suffering and He lets it go on by. Why? Why would not stop suffering if you could???

I am glad you have such a close relationship with Him.

hug, Jani

Being lonely, all the stress and anxiety and turning to the drink, and the guilt from that, money issues and job related issues and all of that being bottled up and feeling like there is no way out. and when that happens, memories come back, urges come back, and there is added more guilt. which just makes the depression worse. then, i don't even want to get out of bed. and usually, i don't.

I've been seeing therapists for years and just go over the same topics over again. There wasn't any progress.

The worst thing about depression, among many, is knowing I could be a success if I didn't have it. ie it holds me back and stops me moving forward

james