A Child Abuse Survivors Group Community Group
We survived child abuse, but the pain still remains and so do the other effects which can last a lifetime. We are often unable to find adequate help, and we are seeking answers that can help us understand what happened so that we can go on to lead normal lives. (Please note that this is a group for child abuse survivors only. If you are a professional in the mental health...
Hi. I am almost 25. Up to this point, my life has been a truly hellish nightmare of abuse by my family that worsened in my teenage years and then was significantly worse in college. I was really stuck because I was also raised in a cult and because of the effects of the abuse. I have worked through a lot of that, with a bit more to go. But I would like, desperately and hugely, to really leave it all behind. To set out in the world on my own, to choose my life for myself as much as I can, and to forget these people and what they have done to me. To have new people in my life. Any advice, input, encouragement, etc. would be much appreciated. It feels overwhelming. And yet a part of me feels that it is time.
The hard part, I think (possibly for all of us), is having to retrain our perceptions. Having to learn what "good" is in the world and personally, same with 'bad'. How to negotiate interactions - there are so many; and how to deal with others who have these roles that they use either as tools of true leadership or weapons. IT'S DOABLE AND WORTH IT. Even under the best circumstances it's hard, but necessary; and a person can create a space where s/he can carve out some joy.
You're well on your way, it seems to me!
Well, it sure isn't that easy. But it's your life and if you think your life is worth something, you've got to fight for it. If you want to leave your past behind, you have to defeat it in a life and death struggle first. And there are no guarantees that you'll win.
It is good to put it behind you. As long as these things don't control you or the choices that you make for yourself, you are likely doing just fine.
If you find that choices you make are influenced by past voices or pressures, try to seek some way to deal with that abuse and let it go.
What worries me is what you mentioned, you want to forget these people and what they have done to you. In the future hopefully you do make many healthy friends. However; what I've learned so far about "forgetting" the abuse and abusers, is that it may not be healthy right now for you to do that. I try to "let go" ;but never forget it.
When part of me feels it is time; it is a signal to be "cautious" and "tread lightly" with making changes. You are still quite young. You have your whole life to live. Please be careful who you TRUST... and who you DON'T.