A Child Abuse Survivors Group Community Group
We survived child abuse, but the pain still remains and so do the other effects which can last a lifetime. We are often unable to find adequate help, and we are seeking answers that can help us understand what happened so that we can go on to lead normal lives. (Please note that this is a group for child abuse survivors only. If you are a professional in the mental health...
Hello:
I spend this weekend at a nice retreat in beautiful, nature surroundings in CT. The retreat was for people like me that were born and raised in a cult and now are former members. The retreat was amazing! I had the opportunity of providing and receiving support to/from people that perfectly understand what it is to live in a high demand, abusive or scamming group.
This is the second time I go, but though there were some familiar faces from last year, there were also new people I met and was able to connect with immediately. It was great to connect in such powerful and intimate way with people I don't know or barely know.
I learned a lot from the workshops that deal with a lot of how growing in a cult affected our formation and our lives now, even decades after leaving for some people.
As people were talking about their experiences and their struggles, I felt sad that all I kept thinking was "I'm just waiting for the money-related or sexual abuse-related story, or both". Pretty much every single person present went through the same abusive hell from either family members, cult leaders, other cult members, etc.
The unique situation of having born in the cult as opposed of people who joined, is that we never had a healthy frame of reference. There was never a life "before or after" the cult. Especially cults that have to do with recovery, what the hell does that is born in a recovery cult has to recover from?
Anyway, I came home feeling very happy, empowered, feeling sane and uplifted. Immediately after the wonderful weekend I felt back to the harassing neighbors, my stupid boss, and the same day-to-day nonsense.
Typically I sort of prepare for coming back home, but this time I just felt so sad, depressed and angry for the hostility I am constantly surrounded with here at home in my area and at work.
So I definitely decided to start seriously looking to change that; not sue what that means, but I had it with the way my life is. I just don't understand the harassment and people's assholeness. Whatever, I'm done.
I spend this weekend at a nice retreat in beautiful, nature surroundings in CT. The retreat was for people like me that were born and raised in a cult and now are former members. The retreat was amazing! I had the opportunity of providing and receiving support to/from people that perfectly understand what it is to live in a high demand, abusive or scamming group.
This is the second time I go, but though there were some familiar faces from last year, there were also new people I met and was able to connect with immediately. It was great to connect in such powerful and intimate way with people I don't know or barely know.
I learned a lot from the workshops that deal with a lot of how growing in a cult affected our formation and our lives now, even decades after leaving for some people.
As people were talking about their experiences and their struggles, I felt sad that all I kept thinking was "I'm just waiting for the money-related or sexual abuse-related story, or both". Pretty much every single person present went through the same abusive hell from either family members, cult leaders, other cult members, etc.
The unique situation of having born in the cult as opposed of people who joined, is that we never had a healthy frame of reference. There was never a life "before or after" the cult. Especially cults that have to do with recovery, what the hell does that is born in a recovery cult has to recover from?
Anyway, I came home feeling very happy, empowered, feeling sane and uplifted. Immediately after the wonderful weekend I felt back to the harassing neighbors, my stupid boss, and the same day-to-day nonsense.
Typically I sort of prepare for coming back home, but this time I just felt so sad, depressed and angry for the hostility I am constantly surrounded with here at home in my area and at work.
So I definitely decided to start seriously looking to change that; not sue what that means, but I had it with the way my life is. I just don't understand the harassment and people's assholeness. Whatever, I'm done.
I wasn't raised in a cult so I can't really compare but the mindset of my parents was to be highly demanding and abusive to their children as a god-given right. They were extreme in their thinking, harsh and inflexible. I've been told recently by people who knew us growing up how sorry they felt for us kids to have such cruel parents who expressed no affection whatsoever.
Maybe in your case it is time to start looking for a new environment. Sometimes being away can clear your mind enough to realize what it is you want. A life free from constant hostility and harassment are not unreasonable things to want. I hope you gain more peace and serenity in your life because you deserve it!
It also sounds like you got some distance emotionally from your typical situation? If so, perhaps that will yield some further trek in the journey? I wish you the best!