You are dealing with PTSD. Your brain shuts down to protect you. Please try to appreciate the stress you have experienced and that your reaction is normal. You also need to tell your story to someone you trust. Can you find a therapist who understands PTSD? Trauma changes you, but it doesn't have to own you. You are still here and reaching out - I take that as a hopeful sign. Do you have family or friends who are available to comfort you while you work this through?

Alive47, you've already been through more than most people go through in life, so you're going to need more help than most people. Fear and extreme anxiety are natural responses to the kind of events you have experienced. You need places and people with whom you can feel safe, and even with those, you will need some time and talking to process your feelings and understand the events for just what they were. Kweigand909 is right, you do need to find a good therapist as well as other people in your life that you can talk to. Sometimes it's a little challenging to find the right therapist, so don't feel bad about switching therapists until you find the one that 's right for you. Additionally, you can talk to church leaders/counselors if you cannot afford a regular therapist - and even if you don't belong to their religion. Most churches and synagogues will help strangers or outsiders with counseling and other help they may need. You can always come here to the Daily Strength website and chat with your friends on Meebo. Also, if you ever feel really low, don't hesitate to call a crisis or suicide hotline (even if you are not feeling suicidal and just need someone to talk to), or go to a local hospital emergency room and explain your situation to them to get emergency counseling or other care.

I went through several years of shutting down as a human being in response to the abuse I went through as a child. It stunted my personal and social development, but now that I am once again trying to be human and to feel, I am able to make up for the period of lost development. You are right, life should not be a prison sentence, but should be something better, something more, something rewarding.

kweiqand909 & Beaumont, Thanks for the advice. I went to Victims Assitance in My Home Town after I got Robbied they Helped Me get Counseling. I have a Great Counselor but I already told Him that I already dealt with My Child Molestion Issues. I really am embarrassed about talking about what Happened to Me.

Yesterday, I talked to Two of My Younger Sisters about What happened when We were Kids. Well, the one that' s a Year Young then Me She say it did Happen but Not Just to Me. Her, One of My Oldest Sister & I was Molested by Friends of the Family, Our Dad Was Physical, Verbal, Emotional & Mental Abusive. When I was 15 years old My Dad Found out that I was having Sex & All Hell Broke Loss. He tried to Molest Me. My own Dad the one that support to have Help Protect Me.