Ah.....I know this one soooooooooooo well! I get like that at times. I've been doing recovery work for about 20 years.....DON'T BE DISCOURAGED by that statement. That was my journey. I wasn't aware for a very long time that the underlying issue was childhood emotional abuse. So, I was recovering a lot from depression and anxiety and then a drug addiction.....I guess I just had a lot of layers to get through.

The truth is, some people never achieve a "full recovery." The legacy we carry from childhood abuse can last a lifetime. If it affected our brain chemistry and development, we may require treatment for depression, PTSD, DID, and other disorders for many years. Healing really just can't be rushed, no matter how hard we try. And there's the simple fact that we cannot simply rid ourselves of the memories....we'll carry those through our lives as well.

Recovery tends to have times of tremendous growth and then downtimes where not a whole lot happens. At least, that's my experience with it. And of course, I want it done yesterday sometimes. It just doesn't seem to flow in my time most of the time. Occasionally, I can spur it forward or give it a jumpstart, but not always.

One of the things I do to NOT go too fast, is to give myself time for some other activity I enjoy. I don't mean taking a break because I have kids or a job or other obligations. I do something none recovery related just for me. It might seem selfish, but its actually a rather healthy practice for most human beings. I will dig out my expensive coloring books and my colored pencils and color, like a kid, with the eye and skill of an adult. Or, I might find TV series on Netflix that I've never seen and get absorbed in that for a few days whenever I have free time. I might even just go talk a walk at the state park and just enjoy some nature for a while. And I've been known to play a game or two online to take my mind off of things for a short time.

What ends up happening, is I feel renewed and more mentally focused when I go back to dealing with my recovery.

Have you checked out any of the web sites posted in "Resources For Child Abuse Survivors" thread yet (posted by Beaumont)? I'm looking into ASCA and their recovery manual. It helps us to evaluate where we are at in our recovery processes, and things we can work on on our own pace. I found it very helpful. Let us know what you thibk. I'm curious to know what others think about it.

AH, this isn't probably true for people, but it is something I have been keeping in mind as I try to move forward in my healing process (which I sure wouldn't mind if it were over, like, yesterday!) is the golden rule on abused horses. I apologize, I work with horses, so much of what I see with them is relate-able for me to what we people go through as well.
The golden rule for abused horses- however long the abuse lasted, double it for the time for them to fully heal. In each different horse, you will see areas of rapid progress, and areas of very slow progress with many "backslide" moments, where it seems like they take two steps back for each positive step forward.
I find this to hold true for me as well, some areas of things I move very quickly in, and in some areas for each epiphany I make, I slide backwards two steps in anger, grief, trigger moments, etc.
Don't push your healing, let it come as it will, and if you happen to make miles of progress in a short period of time, just be accepting of it being a natural part of your progress if you "backslide". Each time you learn a new behavior/habit, and then lose it, and then relearn it again, you are strengthening your brains ability to hold, retain and use that new habit and erase the old one. Sometimes we must do that over, and over, and over before we are done!
Hope all that makes some sort of sense, and best of luck to you on your journey!

Thanks to All of You for the wonderful advice. It helps Me to hear what other people do to Help their Healing & Tootsiemuffin I will check out that Thread. God Bless You All.