Your side of the bed
I'm sitting here typing this from "your side" of my bed. The bottle opener is still on the nightstand where you left it. I have so many memories of us here. It's been over 10 years and I can't imagine you not being here again. I haven't heard from you since Wednesday. You said you would explain in a few days.
There's really nothing to explain. I understand it all.
You'll probably want to "be more careful." You'll probably want to come over. You'll probably want to keep things going. I'll remind you this is why I tried to end it before. You'll probably tell me again how sorry you are that you couldn't let go.
I'm angry at myself that I let go- only to let you back in. That was one of the hardest things I ever did....I begged you to let me go....and not contact me again....I mourned us....I cried my eyes out....I tried to move on because I thought we were done, i needed to be done....and you honored my request for no contact for only a few months. And here we are again, 4 years later.
This is the end.
I'm taking back your side of the bed. The whole bed is now mine. My life is mine. I am no longer sharing it with you- you didn't share yours with me.
You no longer have a side of my bed.
There's really nothing to explain. I understand it all.
You'll probably want to "be more careful." You'll probably want to come over. You'll probably want to keep things going. I'll remind you this is why I tried to end it before. You'll probably tell me again how sorry you are that you couldn't let go.
I'm angry at myself that I let go- only to let you back in. That was one of the hardest things I ever did....I begged you to let me go....and not contact me again....I mourned us....I cried my eyes out....I tried to move on because I thought we were done, i needed to be done....and you honored my request for no contact for only a few months. And here we are again, 4 years later.
This is the end.
I'm taking back your side of the bed. The whole bed is now mine. My life is mine. I am no longer sharing it with you- you didn't share yours with me.
You no longer have a side of my bed.
Replies
Still haven\'t heard from you. I thought I would tonite. I thought you would be at your show and have a chance to contact me. Maybe you\'re really done too? Maybe you\'re really letting me go? I don\'t want to change my phone number until after you text me so I can respond that I will be changing my number. Another thought....I\'m afraid if she calls me and it says my number has changed that it will imply guilt. I dont care about it affecting me- I dont want it to affect you any more than it has already. And her too. Now today I\'m having these panic thoughts of....\"what if she tried to trick him and told him I admitted something?\" you must know me better than that. But who knows? I\'m hoping you and I both explaining my text was in the past tense will set her mind at ease. I feel like such a horrible person. I really do. I need to know that your household is okay so i can forgive myself and move on.