Your Memorial
Your memorial this past Saturday was what I expected. The rain held out, the flowers were beautiful, and attended by eighteen of our family and good friends.
The people I least expected to speak gave a wonderful testimony of how your life affected them. They didn't hesitate to point out the love and devotion you had for me, or the wonderful, rare qualities you possessed that are so hard to find in someone today. Everyone agreed that you were truly a special man. They didn't have to tell me that, for I know. I already knew and realized all those wonderful traits that I fell in love with.
I didn't have to think that I wish you could hear, for you did hear. I didn't have to wish you were there, for you were there. I especially smiled when that brief ray of sunshine broke through the cloudy skies. You are always here, right by my side, just like the inscription on my necklace and forever emblazed on our headstone.
This morning I woke up really missing you and loving you in a depth I have never felt before. There is no one on the face of this earth that can come close to what I lost in you. Grief has a mind of its own. It controls me, I don't control it. Don't worry. I can carry the sadness, the yearning, the tears, the deep love, laughter and enjoyment every day of my life. It is becoming part of my every day that I am getting used to.
As you already know, my new project is researching travel groups for women. We talked about so many wonderful places we wanted to visit, and also return to those places that we favored above all others. I plan to continue with those travel plans, see and do as much as I can until I take my last breath on this earth and you come back to get me, smiling, crying, and running as fast as those tall legs can carry you, with arms outstretched to scoop me up and hug me until you just can't hug me anymore.
If I can survive this first year without you, I can manage the rest until God calls me to my final resting place.
Forever in my heart, forever in my mind, and forever in my soul.
Love from your devoted wife - Debbie
The people I least expected to speak gave a wonderful testimony of how your life affected them. They didn't hesitate to point out the love and devotion you had for me, or the wonderful, rare qualities you possessed that are so hard to find in someone today. Everyone agreed that you were truly a special man. They didn't have to tell me that, for I know. I already knew and realized all those wonderful traits that I fell in love with.
I didn't have to think that I wish you could hear, for you did hear. I didn't have to wish you were there, for you were there. I especially smiled when that brief ray of sunshine broke through the cloudy skies. You are always here, right by my side, just like the inscription on my necklace and forever emblazed on our headstone.
This morning I woke up really missing you and loving you in a depth I have never felt before. There is no one on the face of this earth that can come close to what I lost in you. Grief has a mind of its own. It controls me, I don't control it. Don't worry. I can carry the sadness, the yearning, the tears, the deep love, laughter and enjoyment every day of my life. It is becoming part of my every day that I am getting used to.
As you already know, my new project is researching travel groups for women. We talked about so many wonderful places we wanted to visit, and also return to those places that we favored above all others. I plan to continue with those travel plans, see and do as much as I can until I take my last breath on this earth and you come back to get me, smiling, crying, and running as fast as those tall legs can carry you, with arms outstretched to scoop me up and hug me until you just can't hug me anymore.
If I can survive this first year without you, I can manage the rest until God calls me to my final resting place.
Forever in my heart, forever in my mind, and forever in my soul.
Love from your devoted wife - Debbie
Replies
Debbie - I am thankful your memorial day was as you planned. A special day for a very special person. May your love carry you through this awful journey. I can relate to your interest in traveling -- my beloved John and I traveled to Europe 14 times in 6 years as we both loved to travel. Once we learned he had a critical illness that was our priority until he could no longer travel. I would be interested in your findings as I too would love to travel to places on our \"wish list\" that we just could not make. Jude
I ordered information from The Women\'s Travel Club, based in Bloomfield, NJ. They have a web site. Don\'t know how legit they are, but they seem to be. Will keep you informed, or I will post my findings on the W&W section.
Debbie,
Grief does just take over. Although our husbands are in our hearts there are so many times that there is no subsitute for Rob\'s strong arms around me. I am pleased that the memorial went so well and that so many showed up. Hug, Donna
Debbie the memorial sounds such a lovely celebration of your husbands life,like you l know they are always with us
Alice
Debbie, I am glad the memorial went as you\'d palnned and hoped, and that you are looking into traveling soon. Going on with our dreams is a way of honouring them too. Love from Sil
Girls, it gives me warmth and comfort to carry through with the things we discussed when Dick was alive. I agree with Donna that there is no substitute for my husband\'s arms either.
It sounds like a truly meaningful day and I\'m glad that you got to hear so many people validating what you saw in your beloved husband. That powerful mental image at the end of him running to scoop you up when your time has come - oh, that\'s so beautiful; I\'m going to hang onto it always!
Hugs, Gail