YOU\'RE GONNA DIE LAFFING!

Ok, so I was very tired and hubby and I just wanted to rest, right?  Youngest son is 10+ and it's not like we were leaving him "home alone".   So I told him, "Please just let mom rest for about an hour and I'll get back up."  Oddly, he (son) pulled our door closed. Hmmmm. He kept sneeking in and out of the bedroom until finally, hubby said "Look, you need to get out and let us rest just for a bit."  Well, wouldn't you know, my darlin' son sneeked in just once more and before his dad could lose that last nerve, he said "Mom, I really need you." So, I drag my poor tired "dying" body from the bed to "save" my son from his horrific problem and little did I know how horrific a problem he needed saved from!!!!! My big hearted boy, who can't stand to see anything/anyone hurt/suffer and allowed(?) or brought(?) in a STRAY FILTHY MUDDY WEED FILLED STINKING POODLE DOG THING INTO MY CLEAN HOUSE!  He was trying his best to corral it with a gate to keep the mud/filth/dirt/etc. confined to the bathroom/hallway. (Now ain't that right real considerate of him for his mom?)   I quickly assessed the dog was nowhere NEAR CLEAN as mud was everywhere including MY GOOD TOWEL and the entire house smelled of mud/sewer-stuff!  So, I told him quickly, "We can't keep this dog!  We gotta get it outta the house before your dad wakes up and finds out!"  (Now, ain't I a good MOM saving my son from certain death lol ??) So, I and son manage to go in circles in the living room with said dog until we got it out the front door.  My son is upset "Mom!  It's gonna die!  It was scratching and crying at the door and I thought it was Faith."  Sure enough, the dog from filthy Mudville was remaining at our door, wet, muddy, stinky, etc. scratching and crying.  I assured him that it must be someone's house dog as an outside dog wouldn't know to scratch at the door and he wouldn't want someone crying over their lost dog.  He didn't buy it.  So I just fessed up that his dad would kill us both if we kept another dog. Yes, I did actually think of it then intelligence kicked in or the fumes died down..... Finally, threw out some food for the poor thing and only God knows where he went.  But I'm sure the poor thing learned his lesson not to leave his OWN YARD!  The end. PS - And you folks wonder why I need so much hair dye,makeup, and COFFEE!!!  SHEEZ!  But all the hysterics helps you forget about the pain.