You can go home again

A famous writer once said 'You can't go home again'.  When I first heard that, I was young.  I took it literally.  I imagined that he meant that you literally couldn't go home again. Now, I'm old and and somewhat wise.  I know that you can walk throgh the door of your old home, but everything will look and feel different.  I know that you are a different person, and thus, the experience is new.
Many of you know about my situation with my father.  He and I have never gotten alone and now I'm living with him.  I hit rock bottom yesterday, but today, God picked me up and stood me on my feet and I feel better.  He then gave me revelation.  It isn't my father that bothering me.  It's returning home in general.  
Returning home means I'm here for a reason.  And that reason is that my husband is gone.  I'm alone, but the woman that walked out of here years ago is not the same woman.  I don't know how to be her again.  In other words, I'm home, but not to the same home.  The world that I see now is not the same world.  Yes, the streets around here are the same.  It's the same house.  It's the same schools, but a different person drives down the street.  And I've been trying to figure out how to merge the old me with the new. Yet, it's impossible.
The old me can't return home, and the new me doesn't want to go home because to go home is to erase everything I had with my husband.  I'm no longer the wife, I'm the daughter.  I'm no longer the woman of the house, I'm the caregiver of the house. 
Under normal circumstances, I would have had time to adjust.  I would have cried on my husband's shoulder and have gotten through this.  Instead, I carry the weight by myself.  If it wasn't for God and the good friends I have here, I would be lost.  But this group allows me to explore my feelings in a simlar way that I did with DH.
As for the future, I've got to learn to live one day at a time.  I've got to let go of the past and embrace the uncertainty of the future.