Yin and Yang

here i am at age 55, at that midlife crossroad that we all must address at some time.  i had a dysfunctional childhood which left me to struggle forever with guilt anxiety and self worth issues. my parents marriage was in many ways a poor model for me. i have been married for over 30 years to a man whose alcohol addiction worsened over the years leading to many many heartaches and struggles.
the last ten years or so have been a living hell. but there came that moment !!! the moment when something changed in me. when i realized that who i thought i was and who i really am were not the same. then the transformation, omg i thought i was going insane. but i fought and screamed and cried and explored and found my self. i like this self that i have found. i feel strong, i feel a little wiser. my faith in the divine has been increased. it is easier to be there for others.
don't get me wrong, this is not nirvana (or maybe it is, i don't know-lol). i still struggle with forgiveness,setting boundaries, with worry, doubt, exhaustion, etc. BUT i am grateful for the cosmic 2x4 that swung down and hit me upside the head, and began my mindful period of great growth.  from where i am now, i couldn't have and/or wouldn't have changed a thing.  wishing peace to you all-jms.