Yesterday
I know nothing more than I knew yesterday regarding this pain I'm having. I have to see another doctor at the end of the month-when I told this doctor about my situation as far as the implants go-she acted like she did not want to deal with that but-instead she wrote me a lab script with about 12 items to be tested and sent me on my way. This tiredness I feel could be a a number of things. She would not even order a mammogram but instead she will leave that to the doctor I see on the 28th to do. I woke up this morning not feeling anymore rested.
RV friend wants me for the entire weekend-however-I have things to do and I must tell him that I need that time to do my things.
I hate to be so heartless but my things are important too. Besides-I need to work more at my second job and save more money-I also want to go look at those apartments again. If he gets mad and starts spewing I will ask for more space. I'm to the point where I am ttired of giving up what little I have to be with people who generally dont care about my wellbeing in the end. Each time I do that-I have less and less. Ive decided the NJ thing is out-I'd be doing the same thing with that too. I dont want to give up my Sammycat either-Id have to with the RV thing. Continue to float--lost in space.
Replies
You need to take care of yourself, first and foremost.
Don't feel heartless and let go of all that guilt. You don't need to justify anything. You are only responsible to yourself and no one else.
You are a good person with a big heart but you really need to take care of you before you can take care of another.
God Bless
I solemnly believe that finding the heart to let *my things* important, too, ultimately lead to having more honest room in my heart and life for far greater things than being a *simple* co-dependent. The only people who have ever argued with me on that score are the ones who want to control me for their own purposes while they are calling me, "Heartless."
May your heart grow enough to have ample room for your *things* and more. May your savings grow enough to get that spiffy, independent living space. I am hoping to read *that* update soon. Just hoping. . .
People who truly care about you don’t get mad at you for saying no or expressing you have other things you need to do. Don’t feel bad about taking care of your needs. You need to be your priority,
Hang in there. Doing lab work seems reasonable. Start there. See what unfolds. Sometimes it can take a minute to figure out what’s going, what’s not going on, etc.