Yesterday
Yesterday was my husband's birthday. Quite emotional, but God placed me with a new friend yesterday. She has invited me to join Bible Study twice a month, starting in September. It is a womens' group, with diverse ages, and marital status. Celebrated my husband's birthday with two couples we were close to. Was a nice evening, and I know my husband was there and joined in with the conversation. I have made changes in the house. Rearranged the living room (love it). Having new vertical blinds installed in both bedrooms and ordered new bedspread, pillow shams and valances for our bedroom. I love my home and want to look forward to coming home every day, instead of walking into something that pains. It doesn't mean I am forgetting my husband, nor loving him any less. I hold him dear to my heart, but he is in a new home of warmth, love and peace. I have to make our home comfortable and inviting for me now. It comes with its sense of guilt, and you need a push, but once you make the little changes and like them, you go on to bigger ones. Counseling is today. Can't wait. Hope everyone has a better day today.
Replies
Debbie - I call those my human angels - sometimes it\'s people we don\'t even know, but our shared experience cuts out the bullshit and goes right to the core. It\'s a good thing - no, it\'s a blessed thing. Good for you in rearranging your home - I\'ve found this to be very healing. Yes, I\'ve found that guilt also, but it didn\'t seem to stop me! Our home are now our sanctuary. We need to make it as comfortable as we can, so go for it.
I know counseling will go well - don\'t hold back! The first thing my therapist told me was, \"you don\'t have to be a rock in this room\". And it\'s something I\'ve alway remembered. Hugs, and peace, Marsha
Good going, jerseydebbie!! I did the same thing to my house. It reflects me now and not us. One of the biggest changes is there\'s no TV in the livingroom. I Love It...Sharon
Marsha-- I love my counselor as well. She is also widowed (17 years) and when I speak from the soul, she knows, and she understands. Other counselors that have not walked the walk counsel you from textbook and their experience from other patients. I know that with my counselor, we click and we relate totally.
As for the home reflecting me, it is reflecting more me, but I also balance it with our photos, photos of my parents and our family. You can\'t put these momentoes away, for they are part of who you are. And should be admired for the loving part of your life that they were. Some people say that the pictures pain them and they can\'t move forward. My photos don\'t pain me, but make me feel good, make me feel love, and make me smile. I hope that the photographs in my home never cause me to not be able to heal and move forward, as well as my home. Again, I just pray.