Yay it's almost over
Hello SOTH - I am watching "Jersey Boys" (2nd time) and I'm writing all of you so that I feel I'm not alone. This week has been very busy with not only the students, but participating in Secret Santa and bringing snacks for 2 birthdays in the office, plus collecting $$ for a teacher & counselor who are retiring.
It seems like most people are jovial, looking forward to spending time with family, tired from working every night to make Christmas so special for their family. Oh, how it is so hard to be in that environment sometimes. I'm going to have a pity party for a moment, then I will STOP, I promise. I am an only child, my daughter was an only child - my parents are in heaven - locally, everyone is gone. My grandson is 300 miles away, but am grateful I do have him but the connection and the ability to see him as I once knew is no more. There is so much work still to do between my husband and I that sometimes it is better that we are not living together but that compounds my lonliness sometimes. Anyway, I'm done whining - thank you for listening. :)
When I worked in the nursery @ church, I worked with a girl "Jennifer" that I became close to. She was with me during my Jennifer's illness and this past year. She is married, with 3 children - a daughter 20 and 2 boys, 2 years old and a new little one 3 months old. She and her husband are sweet and because she doesn't have a good relationship with her mom, she became close to me. Christmas morning, I will go over there for a little bit - nothing like a new little baby to warm your heart. But I know if I wake up and I'm not able to go, that will be okay too :)
Well, don't have too much else to say. I'm so grateful for all of you and I think of you often. Vicki
It seems like most people are jovial, looking forward to spending time with family, tired from working every night to make Christmas so special for their family. Oh, how it is so hard to be in that environment sometimes. I'm going to have a pity party for a moment, then I will STOP, I promise. I am an only child, my daughter was an only child - my parents are in heaven - locally, everyone is gone. My grandson is 300 miles away, but am grateful I do have him but the connection and the ability to see him as I once knew is no more. There is so much work still to do between my husband and I that sometimes it is better that we are not living together but that compounds my lonliness sometimes. Anyway, I'm done whining - thank you for listening. :)
When I worked in the nursery @ church, I worked with a girl "Jennifer" that I became close to. She was with me during my Jennifer's illness and this past year. She is married, with 3 children - a daughter 20 and 2 boys, 2 years old and a new little one 3 months old. She and her husband are sweet and because she doesn't have a good relationship with her mom, she became close to me. Christmas morning, I will go over there for a little bit - nothing like a new little baby to warm your heart. But I know if I wake up and I'm not able to go, that will be okay too :)
Well, don't have too much else to say. I'm so grateful for all of you and I think of you often. Vicki
Replies
Thinking of you, also, Vicki.
Love to you & your sweet Jennifer,
Donna
Dear Vicki, It is hard at this time of year. The normal activities at holiday time are no more. It is a time of pity parties and getting on with it. After 5 years, I can enjoy life and friends at Christmas; but I still have times of desperate loneliness and utter sadness. I still cry a lot but Lisa is worth it.
I am glad that you have someone to spend time with on Christmas, someone who understands. And children are a blessing - it is such a time of wonder for them.
Please take time to care for yourself. You are worth it!
Best wishes.
Love and tight hugs,
Marlene
Oh Vicki, you are truly not whining. You are putting your feelings and emotions into written words, and this is most certainly a place to do it, because we can understand and relate to the same type of feelings.
As I approach my sixth Christmas without the physical presence of my son, I look back and see how far I\'ve come from the first couple of Christmas seasons. I had only put up the tree for my youngest child\'s sake, but the good feelings were not there at all.
Today, I\'m beginning to feel real joy again, something I thought would never ever happen.
I\'m so glad that you plan to visit your friend Jennifer on Christmas morning. The sight of a baby also warms the heart, doesn\'t it?
Vicki, may your Christmas be blessed with gentle peace, love and some joy.
Love and hugs,
Diane
Understanding how difficult it can be to listen to all the plans others have and to feel as if life has stopped in so many ways for you as you had known it. The one thing that I learned early on is often what is portrayed on the outside is not always what\'s happening on the inside. Maybe some of those people are SO exhausted and would give anything for a few quiet moments of peace and wishing that they did not have to \"armor up\" because \"Uncle Stan\" is going to be there... Just another way of reframing that I use often that helps me a lot.
I\'m grateful you\'ll be on holiday soon and hope you get to the beach and pamper yourself all that you can. This grief path uses energy we didn\'t even think we had and then some. Working in a school and being a caregiver as you are uses it triple fold.
The most loving of care dear Vicki, understanding how much we miss those beautiful children of ours. Jennifer and Douglas... Such gifts they are and always will BE.
Hand in hand and Heart to heart,
XO Joanie
Thinking of you during these difficult days. And it is o.k for you to vent as often as you need to, my friend!
Loving hugs, just for you! xxx