yuck

Wow, I can not believe that I got up to 210 again, and it has been hell trying to lose the weight again. I am as of this morning 203, how I long for that 193 to 195 see sawing. I have never met my surgeons goal of 175. I am still considered Obese, maybe even morbidly I am 5ft 5 in (i shrunk and inch over the years) and 203. I never saw that size 12  I mean a solid size 12 not the stretch pants thing. I would love to go into wal-mart yes wal mart and put on a size large and have it fit me nicely. I have a big belly, and probably always will unless I have surgery. I feel so much better than I did at 305 and I am doing a heck of a lot more, but I am still unhappy with my weight, and I swear I will not go back to 305 ever again. I guess that is why I am struggling so right now and depressed too. I have tried to find friends on ds to see if they have some sort of plan other than the 5 day pouch test. I am doing that, but was wonderin g if there was anything else other than more surgery. I also think my gall bladder is acting up and wonder if that needs removing. I go to the Dr in 2 weeks so I will find out then.  ttfn