X has a brain cancer
Hello, I just found out my x-wife has brain cancer. She had brain surgery 3 weeks ago to remove a tumour that they think had been there for a while. It was the size of a dollar bill on her right side and had been there so long it started connecting to the bone and tissue. She had tests last week to see if has spread. No answer yet. She also has to go to Seattle for 5 weeks of chemo therapy. This adds to the turmoil and remaining emotions that still creep back up to make me sad. But what am I to do other than just accept it.
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It s my fault. I remarred to soon after my first tragic divorcee. After three years of living with her and then 3 1/2 years of marrage this one is over too. She loved me but I could not give myself fully to her. Now I have spread my painto her and her familiy. I think i either need to be alone for ever or go for a long walk on a short peer.
When my first wife left me unexpected I was devistated and suicidal for sure. But I picked my self up and kinda of to prevent my own self distruction, i stated dating. The woman I picked was broken too. I thought we could fix each other. But we are both too broken. I pulled away and she tried harded ... we had marriage diffuculties and final the one big fight were I stated she had to leave, I call the police or she check herself into a mental facility. She choice hotel and I drove her there as it is cold at night. She tried to convinve me she loved but she crossed a line I could not handle. I stil care for her but now I am scared of her and would have to sleep with on eye open. It is going to cause her more pain I am sure along we my own pain. Sometimes I think living alone is how all people should live as relationships are too much to work and the pain it termendous. hurting again.