X doesn't respond
I never get a timely reply from the X. I do not even know his schedule from week to week. One day he saw them on the early side and several hours later the kids said that they hadn't had dinner with him! He works a very odd schedule and he never sends it to me. If the kids plan something on "his" night because they don't know if he is coming, he gets really angry if he CAN see them that night. He still needs to get 50 boxes or more of stuff out of my garage and he won't schedule it. And NO, I cannot put it on the curb (I can get fined), yet I want it out. He has 2 weeks, according to our decree, but what if he tries to extend? He sends short emails saying he is busy and will get to it, but no schedule. It is so rude of him to assume that we can just re-arrange our lives to suit his schedule, when he does this odd work by choice. So hard to try and move ahead when I am constantly forced to deal with him and his inconsiderate ways...I wish the kids were 18 already. (teens)
Replies
MIne did the exact same thing. He is a pilot and has many times 3-10 days off in a row and yet he couldn\'t find time to move his stuff out. It is a form of control. They want to be able to come and go as they please, resent you having any say in anything and care not one iota what your feelings are, as they dont have the ability to empathize. You can tell (warn him) that if he does not have his stuff out per the decree on time you will have goodwill come take it all away, it is up to him to abide by the final decree and if he can not do it himself he should hire a moving team to come take it or it will be gone to others that will appreciate it.
I know it\'s easier said than done, but boundaries have to be placed and consistently wiht these men in order for them to figure out they can\'t rattle your cage, they can\'t get a reaction or any blood out of the turnip...as long as they can get a reaction out of you and know they can mess with you they continue with their controlling behaviour.
Don\'t expect him to stop being \"rude\" or stop \" assuming\" you can rearrange your schedule..it will never happen...he is in his own egotistical world that doesn\'t even have you and your life on his radar...only in the sense that he can feel powerful over you.
I went through ALL of this with mine. I stood my ground, would NOT change my schedule for him, but told him when he could come over. REfused to speak to him (unless I felt the need), made him either text or email about everything (so i had records - and you should have read how mature and sensible he sounded in these emails - which of course irritated the hell out of me, but I continued on with the boundaries and eventually his emails became abusive and sometimes like a frightened child striking out in anger and paranoia (they are quite paranoid). Feel free to email me if you ever want to talk about something...i have been there...
Newshoes sounds like she knows what she\'s writing about.
Well, you could kill him with kindness and not let the boxes bother you until he can get them or you could move them to a storage facility under his name and then have the monthly billing sent to him and he can get them when he wants or not.
Good luck with this and the awful schedule.