Wyatts birthday

As tomorrow is Wyatts 1yr quickly approches on me.  I found myself at work today not able to focus and crying alot .  We havent even gotten to his actual Birthday/deathday and Im already a mess.  I didnt think it would affect me this hard.   Its just I should be celebrating with him and blowing out candles and opening presents and instead we are going to a cemetery and letting balloons go in to the sky and taking flowers to his grave. Not the birthday I once imagined.  I think thats why I just cant quit crying. Also the fact that I dont know what will happen with this new little guy and Im a nervous wreck.  I took the day off from work and Im so glad I did because if I was so emotional today I cant emagine what tomorrow will bring.     I was however surprised by the fact that some people at work remembered and one close friend even cried with me today. You know you just cant find good people like that all the time.     Well girls I need some extra strength tomorrow to help me get through the sad day and not totally loose it in front of my little girl.   I love you Wyatt and I know God has a plan for you or he wouldnt have taken you from us. Have a good birthday baby and have fun playing with the angels.    Love Mommy