WVer\'s can\'t kill family......

OK, now most folks think WV is a state of back woods red-neck (actually the history of this term is mistaken and if interested, I will explain it's TRUE meaning/history.) in-bred hillbillies.....and usually, I am the first one on the band wagon to agree to some degree.  See, I couldn't work for the State's Dept of Tourism as I stated that "Almost Heaven WV" is the politically correct way to say "Welcome to Hell."  LOL  And if you are wondering, yes, I AM BORN & REARED HERE!  Odd, isn't it?   Yes, we do have wonderful people here, make no mistake.  We look out for each other in a way you will find NO WHERE ELSE!  Medical treatment is far and few between so we do the triage on wrecks in our front yards until the "experts" arrive and I've gotton very good at it to the point of being able to CLEP a med exam!  Further, you will find no finer friendlier helpful people.  BUT you will also not find a more front porch tongue waggin' group either speculating on whatever the topic, which is usually football, hunting, fishing, or someone's private business. LOL The other lovely sentiment I get so often is "You don't sound like yer from around here.  Where you from?"  To which I reply, "Thank you. I've worked very hard on my speech."  However, those who know me also know that when I am very tarrd (tired) I will slip into the twang exceptionally quick.   When tired, I tend to drop vowels as do most WVers normally.   Once we had a customer who was from "up north" and the trucker asked him, "How much more you like?"  The customer, not understanding WV speech, stated, "I'd like the whole d*** load." ROFLOL  Everyone was laughing at his expense and confusion.  It had to be explained that what was really meant was how much more of the load was lacking to be unloaded.  ROFLOL   Of course, you have the ever popular "Red the table", "Peeked eyed", "Holler eyed", "They sapped their constitution", "Liver growed", "Bank clothes", "Poke Mine" and my ever popular "Act like you got some raisin."  Now, I am sure to those who read this, it will all need translated and I would be happy to oblige.  There are many more phrases as well such as "Ramp feed." which is anticipated with the highest salivation!!!! As for "WVer's can't kill family".  This is called "HUNTING SEASON" which we have various "critters" to kill at various times of the year.  This is not really a plan by the DNR (Dept of Natural Resources) but a highly secretly devised plan by moms & wives to "git the men folk out from under foot so's we kin rest."  Thank God it is Spring Gobbler here which will permit me to catch up on my Biblical Counseling course, lock all doors, not answer the phone for the kids & hubby, etc.  However,  I will then be the talk of the town (I'm used to this with multiple ear piercings and frequently dying my hair to freak out the locals ROFLOL) and speculation will abound as to if I am ill, are there marital problems, or if I have become a drug/alcoholic.  This again, is usual fodder for debate & discussion.  As a local, I feel it my "responsibility" to keep the locals entertained as the "theeater" (theater) is expensive and 1/2 hr away. Another oddity, and I will end here, is actually living here.  Oh, sure, you would be welcomed with open arms in the area, BUT, you will always be referred to as so & so who lives such & such and moved here from wherever until you die.  I've been married almost 31 yrs and do you believe I am STILL referred to as "Oh, you know....she used to be a ___________ girl, but she married a __________ boy."  NOW AFTER 31 YRS?  I'M STILL A "GIRL" AND STILL REFERRED TO BY MY MAIDEN NAME?   Yes, this too, is WV.  So, as you can see, I've developed a great affinity for this place called WV with all it's little quirks, etc.  I may knock it, agree with you on certain points, but would be ready to fight if you were to start bad mouthing the state.  You can only do that if you live here.  Much like siblings.....you can knock the tar outta your brother/sister but no one else better lay a hand on them. ROFLOL