WV TONIC CURE ALL never fails!

So, what is this no-fail miracle tonic I have here in WV?  I shall tell you.  You are free to try it if it is available in your parts.   I drive my car to do the errands then head for the TONIC SHOP.  I go in, the waitress knows me, and I place my order.  She knows my order but doesn't understand the tonic part so I had to explain to her that it never fails.  I must now write it up for public use. 1 - hot fudge cake with whipped cream & cherry on top (ask for sugar free if diabetic)1 - cup of coffee (decaf will work if you can't have real coffee) 1 - creamer for coffee & a stir stickNOW - HERE IS THE CORRECT AND ONLY WAY TO USE THE WV NERVE TONIC PROPERLY! PAY ATTENTION! *First, put the creamer in the coffee & stir slowly until the cake arrives.  Yes, you make take a  sip or two.  Add to this at least 3 slow deep breaths.*Cake arrives.  Move coffee to the side and gently and slowly eat the cherry on top FIRST.  Next you may take SLOWLY the whipped cream.  Make sure you do all these steps slowly and  concentrate on the taste all the while breathing slowly.*After the cherry on top and whipped cream, you may begin to eat your hot fudge cake.   *Continue to sip slowly the first cup of coffee finishing it as you eat your hot fudge cake.*Scrap every drop of hot fudge you can from the bowl and ask for your 2nd cup of coffee.*Sip the 2nd cup of coffee VERY SLOWLY AND CONTINUE BREATHING SLOWLY.*After cup 2 you should be very calm & relaxed and only have used 20-30 minutes out of your  insane life that has driven you to need WV NERVE TONIC.*WARNING - DO NOT OVER-INDULGE THIS TONIC.  YOUR HIPS WILL SPREAD AS WILL YOUR  WAIST LINE!  Enjoy.....I know I did and I feel better and life looks better too.  Besides, the sugar in the hot fudge and the caffeine will give me the much need energy to resume cleaning and dealing with life.    This must be done in a sitting situation and not drive thru.  You must be in a coffee shop, restaurant, etc. so you will be able to sit properly and breathe properly.  This TONIC does meet dietary requirements as follows:(ice cream = dairy group, cake = bread group, cherry = fruit group, and since the hot fudge is a dark chocolate coming from the cocoa bean = vegetable & has anti-oxidants to help fight cancer.)