WTF appointment with my RE
So, DH and I just met with our RE to talk about what happened and what we want to do going forward. Of course the RE was 45 minutes late, mind you that there was no one in the office besides the staff because he does surgeries Wednesday afternoon and was meeting with us before he had to leave. I know he was there at noon and not really sure what was going on, but he came in later all flustered and had to review our charts to remember what was going on with our story. I know he sees a lot of people, but I thought maybe he was studying our charts before he came in (why he was late) but I guess not.
What happened - he said he wasn't sure. The blasts that were transferred (BB quality) were collapsed when they were transferred into me. He said that is kind of concerning but he said that when the embryologist gives him the thumbs up to transfer, then he does it. I guess they didn't expand fully yet so not sure if they did at all. Another thing I didn't know is that the clinic offeres *free* hatching, but he said that he only does that on 3 day fresh transfers and can't really "hatch" frozen/thawing embryos b/c then the cell contents might leak out (I know I probably didn't say that right). Also, my lining was just "OK" at an 8.6. He said ideally he likes to transfer between an 8 and a 12. So, I guess I was in his range. He said he does do transfers whent he lining is a 5 and some where it is a 14.
Next step - he was trying to convince us to wait until OCTOBER. Only because I started tearing up and wanted me to clear my head. We couldn't do September because we have vacation planned during the time of the estimated transfer dates. We wanted to do August, which would be fine, but he wanted me to "clear my head". The nurse tried to give me the guilt trip too saying we needed time off. I'm a super emotional person and cry at everything - watching Biggest Loser I cry, reading about a mistreated animal - I cry. I cry at everything. Ultimately, he said it was our decision. We decided August (as the only reasoning he wanted to wait is for me to clear my head and it wasn't medical).
But then again, trying on our own for a few months and really "enjoying" vacation would be nice too. So, I'm torn. I'm supposed to start BCP's tonight, guess I have a few hours to figure it out. Any advice?!
What happened - he said he wasn't sure. The blasts that were transferred (BB quality) were collapsed when they were transferred into me. He said that is kind of concerning but he said that when the embryologist gives him the thumbs up to transfer, then he does it. I guess they didn't expand fully yet so not sure if they did at all. Another thing I didn't know is that the clinic offeres *free* hatching, but he said that he only does that on 3 day fresh transfers and can't really "hatch" frozen/thawing embryos b/c then the cell contents might leak out (I know I probably didn't say that right). Also, my lining was just "OK" at an 8.6. He said ideally he likes to transfer between an 8 and a 12. So, I guess I was in his range. He said he does do transfers whent he lining is a 5 and some where it is a 14.
Next step - he was trying to convince us to wait until OCTOBER. Only because I started tearing up and wanted me to clear my head. We couldn't do September because we have vacation planned during the time of the estimated transfer dates. We wanted to do August, which would be fine, but he wanted me to "clear my head". The nurse tried to give me the guilt trip too saying we needed time off. I'm a super emotional person and cry at everything - watching Biggest Loser I cry, reading about a mistreated animal - I cry. I cry at everything. Ultimately, he said it was our decision. We decided August (as the only reasoning he wanted to wait is for me to clear my head and it wasn't medical).
But then again, trying on our own for a few months and really "enjoying" vacation would be nice too. So, I'm torn. I'm supposed to start BCP's tonight, guess I have a few hours to figure it out. Any advice?!
Replies
I have to say I am exactly like you. I cry at everything also. My husband is always making fun on me (in a harmless way). I always feel like a month off is nice but having to wait until October, not sure if I could wait that long. I might think I can and then after Aug lose my mind. Personally that\'s just me and honestly I\'m not in your shoes. If I went down the path you just went down I may have written something completely different.
Sorry your RE made you wait for 45 mins and that he mistook your tears for needed to \"clear your head\", as far as advice?? When I have to make a decision like this I always make a list of pros & con\'s, I know a bit obvious but it really does help!! Good luck!!
Sue
XO
I cry at everything too! Especially when I am pissed and upset like IF makes me. LOL Do what you feel is right for you. I do find that sometimes taking a month or two off is actually exactly what I need to enjoy life a bit. But if October just seems too far away, then I say go for it now. Whatever you decide will be perfect.
Good luck! HUGS XOXO
Obviously you need to do whatever you feel is right for you. It sounds like you\'re trying to talk yourself out of doing it in August though, so I\'m guessing your heart is pulling you towards August and your head is trying to rationalize waiting until October. If I were in your position I think I would go for August, only because I think I would feel really sad waiting knowing that I could have done it sooner. BUT...do what\'s right for you!
I am the same ball of emotions. I cry whenever i\'m pissed, get the news i didn\'t want to hear, the fam doesn\'t like my dinner as much as I thought they would, etc. DH makes fun of me too. \"Oh geez, amanda\'s gonna cry again\" lol. So I get that. But how rude for him to A) Make you wait B) assume he knows why you are crying C) try to talk you into waiting so long for your next cycle! I do agree to wait if you find the time would be a relief. If the extra waiting is a burden, don\'t do it. Just like LMWT said, whatever decision you make will be the right one for you at the time it was made. Good luck!
I cried today at work but then got the call that my lap is in a month ! You just got your bfn it sucks, your dealing with hormones after a cycle, who wouldn\'t cry ! If you think your ok with dealing with an other cycle go for it. A break can be good and help when you need one but I know for me doing nothing drives me crazy.
You know yourself best, got with your gut.
I agree with the other ladies, do what your heart/gut say to do. Don\'t over think this or you\'ll spend an eternity deciding and then possibly regret your decision.
I\"m so sorry that you had a horrible appt, I think that was completely rude to rummage through your paperwork like he was trying to catch up right in front of you. I\'m sure that just set the whole tone for the appt. Also,WTF does he expect, for you to be happy? Of course you\'re going to be upset but it\'s not his decision on whether you should wait or not, it\'s yours. Sounds like he needs some bedside manner training. Do what you feel is best, good luck to you!
Just read back a bit and saw you had a BFN, I\'m so sorry! And then to top it off you have this appointment, nothing worse then feeling like crap in your Dr.\'s appointment and not getting the attention you need! It\'s interesting that your blasts were collapsed when they were transferred, never heard of that before. Makes me think you were setup for a BFN from the start! :( Well I\'m not sure what you decided, but I am sure you will do what is right for you. Some people need a break between cycles, but I totally get wanting to just move forward now. We all wanted to be pregnant yesterday so I get the urgency. Good luck to you!
Sorry your doctor doesn\'t get the fact that as women dealing with IF, it is emotionally draining and crying is an outlet/release. Some of us are able to bounce back quickly and others need a break. I always welcomed the break, as I could clear my mind from the what if\'s and all the unknowns. It helped me recharge. But, if you feel strong and ready to tackle this again, I say go for it! In your heart you know what\'s best for DH and you. Good Luck!