writing this early

I know a lot can transpire in one day but we ain't starting out very well.  I think T is giving up.  I can't get him out of bed.  He is already late and knows I won't call in an excuse for him.  This girlfriend thing isn't helping.  This has always been my fear because they've been so close and she's been so supportive of him during his trials.  Now she disappoints him because AGAIN she used (he found out she smoked pot - which is why he says he relapsed - an excuse, I know).  They still communicate but I'm don't know what is going on in that department but he's a mess.  He will get through it....this TOO shall pass..... Thankfully, I am at a better place, too.  What happens, happens.  I can't control what is going on, only support him and move forward.  Here it is an hour passed the time he should be in school and he's taking his merry ol' time, and he is the one that has to face whatever music is in store for him (if any).  The consequences are piling up here at home that it almost seems worthless.....he doesn't care.  I told T that he was grounded yesterday for his disrespect toward the assistant principal and hubby let him go the park and play basketball.  I have mixed feelings about that decision.  We checked up on him, periodically, to make sure that he was playing basketball and he was....with an older "boy" (he's in his early 20's).  The young man, Andy, lives down the street from us and had a basketball in his hand as he headed toward teh park.  At the same time T had a basketball in his hand, too, as Andy passed by.  T was going to shoot hoops in our driveway.  We had to jump our car because it had stalled under the basketball hoop (and were close to doing that)  so T asked his dad if he could go with Andy to the park.  Apparently, Andy wanted to be alone< as did T.  So they went to the courts alone, but together.  T told my husband that they would talk, but would have moments of silence - thinking.  Andy told T that he doesn't know what to do with his life and is struggling.  Andy was top of the high school graduating class, got a full ride to college, and even with that he's lost.  So it ended up being a therapeutic session for the two of them.  This all happened when I was at Al Anon.  Hubby started worrying so he went up there and saw the two of them sitting and talking.  Hubby joined them.  This was a good thing.  Funny -  T always thought Andy was odd - but he found a connection.  It was nice..... 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I am fuming about your husband\'s override -- even if there was a beneficial outcome -- as that is not the point. At least all\'s well that end\'s well.......but the pattern of voiding consequences is really unfortunate. Take Care!!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am fuming, too. Hubby did it again!!!! Son was supposed to be gounded, I wasn\'t home, T got to my husband...husband let him....now son is missing in action. Went to see his girlfriend - they broke up this time for good, son came home said he was going to bed...looked in his room....he\'s gone. I am more angry than worried right now. I should be very worried...considering our son\'s frame of mind and what he did last week. Time is ticking and it\'s getting close to the city curfew. I really don\'t want to have to call the police.....