Wow....so long since last journal entry
Can't believe it's been almost a month since I've written -- shows you how fast time flies, and how chaotic and quick the ending of the school year goes...We are finished completely on June 19, and I'm counting the days, although I'll miss my students - they're sweethearts. I hope the next group is just as thoughtful and funny.
It would have been Juno's 16th birthday this past May 31st, just a few days ago now. I lit a candle for him, cried a little. I think of him every single day, no exaggeration, and I pray for him on The Rainbow Bridge every night. There's really a hole in my heart.
Ziggy and Marley are sweet and doing well; it's fun having siblings from the same litter, and they often look like little bookends of each other...I call them twinsies. Ziggy likes to be picked up and squeezed and cuddled a little bit before he wants to be put back on the floor to run around; Marley is harder to hold. I love them, I really do...they're my little bear cubs...but I miss the way Juno used to let me hold him for so long.
I'm not sleeping well...I've been up for days, catching an hour here and there. It's not good. Sometimes I have nightmares (about school, my family situation, etc). Sometimes my mind just won't stop working. I've tried melatonin, also prescription sleeping pills...nothing works that well. :( I'm hanging on.
Matt and I are doing alright. We're on a "good streak" lately, although I don't want to jinx it. I pray every night. We try to keep the communication going, which is excellent.
Father's Day is coming up here; I am filled with pain and anger at my father, who has chosen to cut me out of his life. I don't know...I know I will send a Father's Day card, but I don't know if I will call. Part of me wants to and then part of me wants to just say screw it. But he's 70. His health is not the greatest. I miss him. I wish he would get over this ridiculous grudge. I wish, I wish, I wish.
That's all for now. I'm thinking of you all, hoping you are comforted by new fur babies or the memories of your beloved ones that have passed on. I know how hard it is. I think of all of you. Hugs and good thoughts. xoxo
It would have been Juno's 16th birthday this past May 31st, just a few days ago now. I lit a candle for him, cried a little. I think of him every single day, no exaggeration, and I pray for him on The Rainbow Bridge every night. There's really a hole in my heart.
Ziggy and Marley are sweet and doing well; it's fun having siblings from the same litter, and they often look like little bookends of each other...I call them twinsies. Ziggy likes to be picked up and squeezed and cuddled a little bit before he wants to be put back on the floor to run around; Marley is harder to hold. I love them, I really do...they're my little bear cubs...but I miss the way Juno used to let me hold him for so long.
I'm not sleeping well...I've been up for days, catching an hour here and there. It's not good. Sometimes I have nightmares (about school, my family situation, etc). Sometimes my mind just won't stop working. I've tried melatonin, also prescription sleeping pills...nothing works that well. :( I'm hanging on.
Matt and I are doing alright. We're on a "good streak" lately, although I don't want to jinx it. I pray every night. We try to keep the communication going, which is excellent.
Father's Day is coming up here; I am filled with pain and anger at my father, who has chosen to cut me out of his life. I don't know...I know I will send a Father's Day card, but I don't know if I will call. Part of me wants to and then part of me wants to just say screw it. But he's 70. His health is not the greatest. I miss him. I wish he would get over this ridiculous grudge. I wish, I wish, I wish.
That's all for now. I'm thinking of you all, hoping you are comforted by new fur babies or the memories of your beloved ones that have passed on. I know how hard it is. I think of all of you. Hugs and good thoughts. xoxo
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