Wow! Revelations

Last night I was standing there, eyes and nose burning from the effort of trying to hold tears back, shaking from...what,I really don't know. Suddenly it hit me that I want really hurt or upset. Hell, I didn't even want a kiss or for him to be nice or decent or affectionate. I was just reacting the same way I always did to the same shit. I was the one in control here, why was I giving that up to him. I decided he's a sick man. While I don't excuse or justify his behavior any longer, neither do I have to let it touch me. I can't say it won't happen again...that I won't get angry and throw a personal pity party over his actions, but I can say that something had truly shifted. He doesn't own my feelings, actions, or behaviors...He never really has. Although he would like to believe he does. His actions are designed to throw me off course and make me jump like a puppet. Why am I letting him do just that!? No more sister. It's my time now :-)