WOW! Dill Pickles!
As I write this letter, I think it will probably be my most difficult, but who knows? It is DEFINATELY one which will have an amazing end to my God journey adventure!
I've read my Bible, I've prayed, and this is what God keeps throwing to me to do. Do I want to? No. However, it is my greatest desire to do exactly as Jesus tells me, so I will CHOOSE to do it regardless of what I want or feel.OK, calm down first, my child. LOL Don't go gettin' all flusterated (yes, flustrated!) because that is Satan and our human flesh that. That ain't God. That's Satan's work and the flesh of humanity which Satan works through.
I have 2 critical situations in my life and as I prayed before God on what to do I prayed "Jesus, I know You hear my prayers. I know there is nothing I can really do. However, You said yourself "this kind only comes out by prayer and fasting" (MARK 9: 29 And he said unto them, This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting.) so I can fast. What do You want me to do?" I was told what to fast and began immediately.
Now, I do not tell you this to boast, but I tell you these things to bring you HOPE, FAITH, encouragement and to KNOW that God is real, listening, watching and wanting you to talk to Him and He to you!!!!
The next day, before I even had a cup of coffee (God usually has to work slowly with me as I constantly as for explanations like a 2 yr old. lol) God spoke very firm and boldly and ask me "Do you want what you have asked for? It comes with a cost." I sat dumbfounded mainly because God usually let's me get coffee first but I was immediately jolted alert!!!! I was awe struck and sat speechless.
I said, "God, You are asking me to sign a blank check with my life. " Again God stated, "Do you want it or not?" I sat quietly before God and thought. What I had asked for was great and I am sure, the cost will be as well. However, I know that giving God a blank check to my life, the amount will never be too much as He has promised PHILLIPIANS 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
I also know that God loves me and will never do anything to hurt me. A test isn't to hurt me, but make me stronger. A test shows my weak points and causes me to lean on God even more, IF I CHOOSE.
So, what had I ask for, besides those two critical situations? God was plainly reminding me of the first prayer request which I've been praying for about 2 yrs. Was it a bold prayer? Absolutely! Was it Biblical? Absolutely. I have been praying for the mantle of Christ.
Now, no, I cannot nor do I want to be Christ. However, I do want to love as Christ Jesus loved, hear people as Christ Jesus heard people, and be as much like Christ as possible ABSOLUTLEY! But as God is telling me, there is a cost to me. II KINGS 2: 9 And it came to pass, when they were gone over, that Elijah said unto Elisha, Ask what I shall do for thee, before I be taken away from thee. And Elisha said, I pray thee, let a double portion of thy spirit be upon me. 10 And he said, Thou hast asked a hard thing: nevertheless, if thou see me when I am taken from thee, it shall be so unto thee; but if not, it shall not be so.
Also, God's word states II TIMOTHY 3:17 That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.
As the Lord God began to show me thousands of people's faces, I prayed, "Lord, to do a large work would be great, but that is a huge responsibility. I do not wish people's blood to be on my hands. I want to serve you and yes, I want to have won souls to go to Heaven but this is a huge responsibility!"
Again, I sat in silence with the Lord's words echoing in my head, "Do you want it or not?" After carefully thinking and praying, I thought to myself, "I've prayed for this exact thing for 2 years, it's now or not at all." I told God, "Yes, I want it. I sign the blank check and you fill in the rest."
Now, why am I telling you this? To let you know that the God of the Holy Bible is real! He still talks to people who are willing to listen and follow. He is willing and able to do great & marvelous things but we must be willing to give up ourselves and our desires for Him and Him alone. We must want Him and what He has for us more than what we want for ourselves. His plan, I assure you is better. The Bible, though thousands years old, is still ALIVE, TRUE, and WORKING!!
Now, oddly, I'm not on a cane....I'm on a cane & a walker. LOL Is this bad? No. Is it good. Yes. Before you think I've lost my mind, let me explain. Testing from God is for our good. God never ever sends temptation but He does give tests! Just like a spelling test in school is good so you know which words you need to practice on more. The walker, to rid me of my self-sufficient pride. Pride like that is wrong and sinful. This type of pride states I don't need anyone but me and is idolatry. God is getting that junk out of me because how can I truly be useful to Him if I am telling Him, like a little child, "I do it myself!!" Can't you just hear the 2 year old saying that as they stomp there foot? I can and I am that 2 yr old!
I brought to God's attention that I have to use a cane and I was staring at the walker trying to melt it with heat vision. Again, God spoke. Jackie, does a carpenter look at his hammer as an obstacle? He carries his hammer on his belt all day long but when he needs it, he's glad to have it to use. The walker is no different. It's your attitude. So, I immediately got with God's plan, not mine.
I thought, if I have to use that horrid walker, then I need to deck it out. I went to Dollar General, bought some duct tape that has dill pickles on it against a sky blue back ground and decorated my walker and cane with smiling dill pickles that say "DILL WITH IT". At least I can smile at my walker now. Who can't with smiling dill pickles all over it saying "DILL WITH IT"?
I finally had to do what I'd dreaded for so long, I had to go in public with the walker. I went to church determined to not be held back. My friend smiled and laughed at my pickles and said, "Only you, Jackie"! She is in a wheel chair so she knows the road I am traveling.
Now, the entire reason for this story is to teach you a few things, my dear children:1-God never gives you more than you can bear or He will make a way out. This is a promise in His word. (1 Corinthians 10:13 No trial has overtaken you that is not faced by others. And God is faithful: He will not let you be tried beyond what you are able to bear, but with the trial will also provide a way out so that you may be able to endure it.)
2-He promises to uphold me with His righteous right hand (right hand is the hand of authority) and not let me fall. (ISAIAH 41:10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you! Don’t be frightened, for I am your God! I strengthen you – yes, I help you – yes, I uphold you with my saving right hand 10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you! Don’t be frightened, for I am your God! I strengthen you – yes, I help you – yes, I uphold you with my saving right hand.)
3. He loves me so much He paid for me with His only Son (Jesus') blood. I am valuable and precious to him. (John 3:16)
4. ALL my steps are ordered (put into a pattern) by the Lord. (Ps 37:23 the steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.)
I've read my Bible, I've prayed, and this is what God keeps throwing to me to do. Do I want to? No. However, it is my greatest desire to do exactly as Jesus tells me, so I will CHOOSE to do it regardless of what I want or feel.OK, calm down first, my child. LOL Don't go gettin' all flusterated (yes, flustrated!) because that is Satan and our human flesh that. That ain't God. That's Satan's work and the flesh of humanity which Satan works through.
I have 2 critical situations in my life and as I prayed before God on what to do I prayed "Jesus, I know You hear my prayers. I know there is nothing I can really do. However, You said yourself "this kind only comes out by prayer and fasting" (MARK 9: 29 And he said unto them, This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting.) so I can fast. What do You want me to do?" I was told what to fast and began immediately.
Now, I do not tell you this to boast, but I tell you these things to bring you HOPE, FAITH, encouragement and to KNOW that God is real, listening, watching and wanting you to talk to Him and He to you!!!!
The next day, before I even had a cup of coffee (God usually has to work slowly with me as I constantly as for explanations like a 2 yr old. lol) God spoke very firm and boldly and ask me "Do you want what you have asked for? It comes with a cost." I sat dumbfounded mainly because God usually let's me get coffee first but I was immediately jolted alert!!!! I was awe struck and sat speechless.
I said, "God, You are asking me to sign a blank check with my life. " Again God stated, "Do you want it or not?" I sat quietly before God and thought. What I had asked for was great and I am sure, the cost will be as well. However, I know that giving God a blank check to my life, the amount will never be too much as He has promised PHILLIPIANS 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
I also know that God loves me and will never do anything to hurt me. A test isn't to hurt me, but make me stronger. A test shows my weak points and causes me to lean on God even more, IF I CHOOSE.
So, what had I ask for, besides those two critical situations? God was plainly reminding me of the first prayer request which I've been praying for about 2 yrs. Was it a bold prayer? Absolutely! Was it Biblical? Absolutely. I have been praying for the mantle of Christ.
Now, no, I cannot nor do I want to be Christ. However, I do want to love as Christ Jesus loved, hear people as Christ Jesus heard people, and be as much like Christ as possible ABSOLUTLEY! But as God is telling me, there is a cost to me. II KINGS 2: 9 And it came to pass, when they were gone over, that Elijah said unto Elisha, Ask what I shall do for thee, before I be taken away from thee. And Elisha said, I pray thee, let a double portion of thy spirit be upon me. 10 And he said, Thou hast asked a hard thing: nevertheless, if thou see me when I am taken from thee, it shall be so unto thee; but if not, it shall not be so.
Also, God's word states II TIMOTHY 3:17 That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.
As the Lord God began to show me thousands of people's faces, I prayed, "Lord, to do a large work would be great, but that is a huge responsibility. I do not wish people's blood to be on my hands. I want to serve you and yes, I want to have won souls to go to Heaven but this is a huge responsibility!"
Again, I sat in silence with the Lord's words echoing in my head, "Do you want it or not?" After carefully thinking and praying, I thought to myself, "I've prayed for this exact thing for 2 years, it's now or not at all." I told God, "Yes, I want it. I sign the blank check and you fill in the rest."
Now, why am I telling you this? To let you know that the God of the Holy Bible is real! He still talks to people who are willing to listen and follow. He is willing and able to do great & marvelous things but we must be willing to give up ourselves and our desires for Him and Him alone. We must want Him and what He has for us more than what we want for ourselves. His plan, I assure you is better. The Bible, though thousands years old, is still ALIVE, TRUE, and WORKING!!
Now, oddly, I'm not on a cane....I'm on a cane & a walker. LOL Is this bad? No. Is it good. Yes. Before you think I've lost my mind, let me explain. Testing from God is for our good. God never ever sends temptation but He does give tests! Just like a spelling test in school is good so you know which words you need to practice on more. The walker, to rid me of my self-sufficient pride. Pride like that is wrong and sinful. This type of pride states I don't need anyone but me and is idolatry. God is getting that junk out of me because how can I truly be useful to Him if I am telling Him, like a little child, "I do it myself!!" Can't you just hear the 2 year old saying that as they stomp there foot? I can and I am that 2 yr old!
I brought to God's attention that I have to use a cane and I was staring at the walker trying to melt it with heat vision. Again, God spoke. Jackie, does a carpenter look at his hammer as an obstacle? He carries his hammer on his belt all day long but when he needs it, he's glad to have it to use. The walker is no different. It's your attitude. So, I immediately got with God's plan, not mine.
I thought, if I have to use that horrid walker, then I need to deck it out. I went to Dollar General, bought some duct tape that has dill pickles on it against a sky blue back ground and decorated my walker and cane with smiling dill pickles that say "DILL WITH IT". At least I can smile at my walker now. Who can't with smiling dill pickles all over it saying "DILL WITH IT"?
I finally had to do what I'd dreaded for so long, I had to go in public with the walker. I went to church determined to not be held back. My friend smiled and laughed at my pickles and said, "Only you, Jackie"! She is in a wheel chair so she knows the road I am traveling.
Now, the entire reason for this story is to teach you a few things, my dear children:1-God never gives you more than you can bear or He will make a way out. This is a promise in His word. (1 Corinthians 10:13 No trial has overtaken you that is not faced by others. And God is faithful: He will not let you be tried beyond what you are able to bear, but with the trial will also provide a way out so that you may be able to endure it.)
2-He promises to uphold me with His righteous right hand (right hand is the hand of authority) and not let me fall. (ISAIAH 41:10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you! Don’t be frightened, for I am your God! I strengthen you – yes, I help you – yes, I uphold you with my saving right hand 10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you! Don’t be frightened, for I am your God! I strengthen you – yes, I help you – yes, I uphold you with my saving right hand.)
3. He loves me so much He paid for me with His only Son (Jesus') blood. I am valuable and precious to him. (John 3:16)
4. ALL my steps are ordered (put into a pattern) by the Lord. (Ps 37:23 the steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.)
Replies
Oh Jackie I so understand what you are saying. My disease has been with me since childhood always humiliating me witb what I could not do as well as others. For many years I felt guilty ( like I wasn\'t a good enough mom) Then ashamed because I couldn\'t keep up at work...all these are by products of my own pride. Now I get frustrated because others don\'t understand how very hardI have worked at staying mobile healthy and somwhat able.
God has been telling me to turn it over and only worry about His expectations. ..which are still hard...but so do able with the Holy Spirit.
Keep on listening. ..I don\'t know why we have problems but God will get us through. God says we don\'t have because we don\'t ask...so I have started proclaiming the scriptures to myself so that I see and hear them and think them. It really helps me...sometimes I write them too in my journal...a triple whammy so they take root in my heart.
God Bless you!
Nanette
Jackie, your body may be letting you down, but you spirit is sounding pretty healthy there my friend, and that\'s what you shall be taking with you to glory!!! You GO girl :) :)
DEAR CAROL & NANETTE - Yep, you got to have humor. I tried using just my cane when hubby & I went out to eat. As I stood to go, OH, I WENT! 360 degree around my cane! Hubby grabbed my arm and as we went to the car, I said \"Hey, I just did my first pole dance and no one clapped or threw money!\" He didn\'t see the humor. ROFLOL
Hehehe too funny...gotta laugh or you\'ll cry right? Tell hubby to lighten up
:)