Wow, 40 is a good number
Can't believe that I've kept this up. I find myself needing to write in my journal. It just doesn't feel right when I let it go for too long. I feel the same way about talking to my mom and my kids. Do I love my journal? Is it part of my family? :)
Family members are getting tested for alpha-1 antitrypsin insufficiency. That's all about that for now.
Kids' dad has genetically-linked Alzheimer's the doctors think. He is 58 and is at about the toddler stage. So now the kids have Alzheimer's issues on his side and alpha-1 issues on my side. My daughter commented "I wonder if it's worse to lose your mind or lose your health." The Alzheimer's appears to be quite recessive because none of his siblings have it, so that's good. But I'm sure this is not easy for the kids to face. They are really good to their dad and try to go spend time with him often. They all live 2 to 5 hours away from him. His wife is his caregiver while still teaching kindergarten. The kids are very close to each other emotionally. Best friends and biggest cheerleaders for one another. They are my heroes.
So, happy about. Bob is working today. That's really good. His jobs are much more steady than when we started the business. Word of mouth. He is really good at what he does.
Puppy is hanging out with me while I type this. She is such a comfort.
Did my workout this morning. That makes me feel better and a little bit more in control of my day. I was going to say of my destiny, but that just wouldn't be true. Best I can, one day at a time. Try not to get too down.
December is a rough month for me. Every day there is pain. So, I will keep trying one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time. Following the death of my daughter I used to set the timer for 1/2 hour. I would try to stay focused on whatever for that amount of time. It was usually studying as I was in school at the time. Then the buzzer would ring. I would let myself cry or yell or sit and stare for however long. When I was done, I would set the timer again. It helped get me through the worst of it. Maybe this December I will do that again. . .
Tuesday, laundry day. Every day is laundry day for me. Just sometimes I ignore it.
The end.
Family members are getting tested for alpha-1 antitrypsin insufficiency. That's all about that for now.
Kids' dad has genetically-linked Alzheimer's the doctors think. He is 58 and is at about the toddler stage. So now the kids have Alzheimer's issues on his side and alpha-1 issues on my side. My daughter commented "I wonder if it's worse to lose your mind or lose your health." The Alzheimer's appears to be quite recessive because none of his siblings have it, so that's good. But I'm sure this is not easy for the kids to face. They are really good to their dad and try to go spend time with him often. They all live 2 to 5 hours away from him. His wife is his caregiver while still teaching kindergarten. The kids are very close to each other emotionally. Best friends and biggest cheerleaders for one another. They are my heroes.
So, happy about. Bob is working today. That's really good. His jobs are much more steady than when we started the business. Word of mouth. He is really good at what he does.
Puppy is hanging out with me while I type this. She is such a comfort.
Did my workout this morning. That makes me feel better and a little bit more in control of my day. I was going to say of my destiny, but that just wouldn't be true. Best I can, one day at a time. Try not to get too down.
December is a rough month for me. Every day there is pain. So, I will keep trying one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time. Following the death of my daughter I used to set the timer for 1/2 hour. I would try to stay focused on whatever for that amount of time. It was usually studying as I was in school at the time. Then the buzzer would ring. I would let myself cry or yell or sit and stare for however long. When I was done, I would set the timer again. It helped get me through the worst of it. Maybe this December I will do that again. . .
Tuesday, laundry day. Every day is laundry day for me. Just sometimes I ignore it.
The end.
Replies
Dee,
I so much enjoy your journal, and the happy thoughts that generally come from it. I do believe you when you say that when you don\'t write you feel you have neglated a part of you. It is a place where you can vent, and rebuild. I know my blog has become part of my soul. It is a good thing that all the family is being tested. It could shape future courses of action. I am sure your activities with your puppy and even your workouts help shape the type day you will have. -- Smiling, I hope you continue to have good and great days. Bill