Worthless

I feel how far gone everything is when I get on the phone and it feels like it's just obligatory. I know you lied again, you're not all in, your just not ready to lose me. So why is it that you mention you're horny, and I respond with some comment about that being a constant state, and it's obvious that wasn't considered a good comment.. Immediately you are ready to get off the phone. You wonder where that feeling comes from that this is all you care about.. it's these things, these little things that reinforce what you are refusing to say. 
Wouldn't it be great to learn real Tantra together, use 6 months to take it step by step, meditate together, learn a form of hypnosis? Wouldn't that help the healing process? I'm so wound up inside I don't even know where to begin, the apology I gave you via text was real, you didn't respond to it. You instead responded that you were thinking about Disney, on the phone you didn't acknowledge the apology either.. .and you wonder why I don't feel like you are there?