Worthless

I am not clean, no where close actually. It has taken me so long i tried getting clean a couple years back, have been since then and I just can't shake my addiction. People use the hashtag #StruggleIsReal as a joke, when really for some people it really is. For my my struggle is my addiction and my insecurities of who I am and that causes my depression. It's kinda like a circle, cause the depression keeps me from goin out and hangin out with people which makes my process of getting clean harder because in order to get clean I need to be productive and outgoing so that I don't hole myself up in my house and focus on it, tempting me to give in. So yes, it has been difficult.