Worried about the future!

My honey is coming home in a week, and i'm not sure "Who" will be coming home, his original good, kind, considerate, with a streak of crazy version, the manic, holier than thou, i've been through hell, get out of my way version, or some combination of all of the above. In short we've been separated for one reason or another for over 2 years now, and i don't know him. i have more bad memories of the past 5 years than good, i'm totally prepared to walk away, i don't know how, with property values, and no place to go etc. but i have no idea what to expect in our future, and no idea how his past 8 months living away from home is going to play out. somedays i get to talk to him, and he's happy, excited, and looking forward, others he's in pain, angry, confused, and miserable, no matter what i say, its wrong, and i'm walking on eggshells again, and i don't know how long i'm going to take that. i want us to be OK, i haven't waited all this time, in the wings so to speak, to walk away, or have i? once again i don't know what i want, and i don't dare hope for what i want to come true, because everything i've hoped in the past 5 yrs, hasn't been in my control, and has gone the opposite way. so no matter what i want it hasn't happened, therefore why hope for what i want to happen anyway? Being with him,i'm not in control of my own destiny, i can plan, and make choices, but if it doesn't work for him, or work out with him, its going to go sour. can i handle that? I DON'T KNOW!