worn out

I don't know what the hell I want to happen.  The treatment center called to set up an appointment for T to go with us for an assessment and when I approached him on it -- he went into a rage - screaming, throwing things, swearing, and crying.  He yelled at me and said he wasn't using but is depressed.  I told him that that was the main reason this woman wanted to see him - for a mental health assessment.  He didn't believe me.  I did tell him that this was a done deal because that was the impression I was getting but now I am not so sure.  I tried to tell him that but to no avail.  Then I talk to his caseworker and he said that the PO might not even do anything if T refuses.  T said he'd rather be violated and go before a judge and tell him that they're wrong and that he's clean.  T knows that he wouldn't be put in front of judge for another month or more.  I told the caseworker that the PO already handed out an empty threat by telling him that if he doesn't do the in-line school he would have to go to the juvenile correctional center.  Todd refused the on-line.  His PO told me then not to worry about it because he's going into treatment.  And now this.  Caseworker said he'd talk to his PO.  I asked him to see if he can court order T to get a mental health assessment - emphasiing that instead of treatment for now.  I also told his counselor (who really irrates me) not to come today but to show up at school tomorrow and give him a surprise drug screen.  I told him what was going on with T (T isn't feeling well and missed school today) and then he proceeded to tell me what I already know.  He cuts me off, doesn't listen, and then goes on an on about all the bad things that are in T's life.  How about something useful?   Just got off of the phone with T's caseworker.  Bad news.  The caseworker, Alan, is leaving to go onto something else.  He will still be in the business but no longer be working as a caseworker - including T's!  I am sick about it.  He's really, really good and I can talk to him.  I've develped a good relationship with him and now I feel abandoned.   I started crying and I am now. Shit.  I told him all about T's counselor and how ineffective he is and Alan said that this guy gets glowing reports!  I'm sure the counselor does because he doesn't challenge  the kids and wants to be liked.  The caseworker doesn't get it either, why he gets good reports.  I feel like I'm the one who directs the counselor what to do.  He was supposed to be testing T in school and Alan said he thought he was doing that because it was agreed upon at the "intervention" meeting weeks ago.   I told him that I should have pushed it and he told me I shouldn't have to do that.  Most of T's counselor's  clients come from broken homes and maybe they need that kind of "therapy".   I don't know.  It really sucks that "we" are going to lose Alan. He has been an excellent advocate.  His replacement will be a female minority.  I have no problem with minorities AT ALL and neither did T until the ugly drugs warped his thinking.  I can't believe this.  I am so upset that we are losing him.  I've built a relationship with him and I can talk to him more about T than I can with my own husband - whose not really engaged in this like I need him to be. Oh......Alan did say he's going up to school to talk to T tomorrow or to our house if T doesn't go to school about treatment.  It is a court order.  If T doesn't agree - he will be violated.  The judge could send him to jail instead of giving him an option this time.  It isn't in my hands so I must trust the good Lord and Let Go And Let God......