World news
I woke up this morning to hear that a helicopter carrying 31 American troops was shot down in Afghanistan today.
And I just want to cry. Ugh.
I know my bf is safe...he is not in that region, THANK GOD!!
But my ex husband IS...
And they were special ops troops....once again..that is what my ex is...an Army Ranger.
I cant help but feel sick to my stomach. The chinook that went down is what he usually jumps from.
He's not a good guy...but I so do NOT wish him harm or bad juju. Part of me is wondering..what the heck..and why do I care??
-My heart is breaking for the families of the fallen men. :( :(
-The other part of me knows I wouldnt want anything bad to happen to my ex. I will always have a part of him in my heart and I wouldnt want my son to feel any more pain.
-And the selfish part of me says...ok...now here goes another week of shut downs and blackouts so there will be no chance of communication with Jason. I can handle that, Im not complaining...I just miss him so so much...and Im a little fear filled right now.
The intensity of emotion is too much right now. Im trying to process it all. I know part of it is because I love the man in my life so incredibly much and just cant wait for him to come home. The other part of it is past fear.. my ex husband was badly wounded there a few years back. I fear for them both..and just want everyone to be safe.
Grrr...... cant this be over with yet? I dont want to project...just tell me its going to be Ok...
And I just want to cry. Ugh.
I know my bf is safe...he is not in that region, THANK GOD!!
But my ex husband IS...
And they were special ops troops....once again..that is what my ex is...an Army Ranger.
I cant help but feel sick to my stomach. The chinook that went down is what he usually jumps from.
He's not a good guy...but I so do NOT wish him harm or bad juju. Part of me is wondering..what the heck..and why do I care??
-My heart is breaking for the families of the fallen men. :( :(
-The other part of me knows I wouldnt want anything bad to happen to my ex. I will always have a part of him in my heart and I wouldnt want my son to feel any more pain.
-And the selfish part of me says...ok...now here goes another week of shut downs and blackouts so there will be no chance of communication with Jason. I can handle that, Im not complaining...I just miss him so so much...and Im a little fear filled right now.
The intensity of emotion is too much right now. Im trying to process it all. I know part of it is because I love the man in my life so incredibly much and just cant wait for him to come home. The other part of it is past fear.. my ex husband was badly wounded there a few years back. I fear for them both..and just want everyone to be safe.
Grrr...... cant this be over with yet? I dont want to project...just tell me its going to be Ok...
Replies
Our prayers are with the familys. Sad day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9uiWq_JCrA&feature=related
ok..now Im just going to cry like a little girl...
I saw the news first thing this morning, i am so saddened. I hear that the toll on troops was primarily SEALs, maybe 20 or 22. Team 6, no less. Not for sure what the details are, but am trying to find out more. I am so sorry for the worry & sadness this is causing you, but I am trusting that it\'ll all be OK, somehow, some way.
Oh my. I did not hear this news this morning. I\'m glad J is safe. And your Ex is fine. My Ex is there also as a civilian on an AFB. He was able to Skype with my son today. AND he did not speak of this with my son. For that I am grateful. But those poor soldiers and their families...:(
Oh I\'m so sorry to hear this. I have been out of touch for the last 36 hrs....
I know you will get this...you care because when you love, it\'s unconditional. The fact that your ex was not capable of reciprocating that to you, or to anyone, does not change who you are, and how you feel about him. I mean, you don\'t love him in a romantic way, but you do in the universal unconditional way. I get this. It\'s why I wish my ex love and light when ever I think of him. But I don\'t want him in my life, anymore than you want your ex.
So don\'t go questioning the fact that you don\'t wish him any harm, you aren\'t capable of wishing people harm, esp. someone you loved and have a kid with.
I hope he\'s ok, I hope Jason is ok, I hope Jax is ok, and mostly I hope you are ok. I hope when Jason\'s tour is done, you guys are able to experience life outside the military.
Big big hugs....
Thank you my friends, i appreciate your thoughts and support. HM...you are right, I do love him unconditionally. Not only is that a peaceful way of living for me, even as frustrated as I get at times with him, but its how I choose to live my life with everyone I encounter. I dont want him as a part of my life, i cant even go there, but he is somewhat a part of my life whether I like it or not as we have a child together. And it will always be that way. Im feeling a little more optimistic today .