World news

I woke up this morning to hear that a helicopter carrying 31 American troops was shot down in Afghanistan today.
And I just want to cry. Ugh.  
I know my bf is safe...he is not in that region, THANK GOD!!
But my ex husband IS...
And they were special ops troops....once again..that is what my ex is...an Army Ranger.
I cant help but feel sick to my stomach. The chinook that went down is what he usually jumps from.
He's not a good guy...but I so do NOT wish him harm or  bad juju.  Part of me is wondering..what the heck..and why do I care??
-My heart is breaking for the families of the fallen men. :( :(  
-The other part of me knows I wouldnt want anything bad to happen to my ex.  I will always have a part of him in my heart and I wouldnt want my son to feel any more pain.
-And the selfish part of me says...ok...now here goes another week of shut downs and blackouts so there will be no chance of communication with Jason. I can handle that, Im not complaining...I just miss him so so much...and Im a little fear filled right now. 
The intensity of emotion is too much right now.  Im trying to process it all.  I know part of it is because I love the man in my life so incredibly much and just cant wait for him to come home. The other part of it is past fear.. my ex husband was badly wounded there a few years back. I fear for them both..and just want everyone to be safe.
 
Grrr......  cant this be over with yet?  I dont want to project...just tell me its going to be Ok...