Working to stay positive

So, I have been working on having an attitude of gratitude and being hopeful since the New Year.  Not that I did not do that prior, but a real shift.  Trying not to give in to being overwhelmed and frustrated with this disease.  Overall, I have felt a  lot better energy and spirit.  It doesn't mean I do not get frustrated.  I try not to give in to complaining, and today I feel the need.  I am tired of not getting a good night sleep.  My back hurts so much from my awkward walk.  All night long it hurts.  We just bought a new bed a year a go and I thought this would help it.  It hasn't.  so, it must be my walk.  I am going to go get a massage tomorrow night.  Maybe close to bed time and see if I can get one good night.  I toss and turn and there is no position of comfort.  My walking is better than it could be today, but yet I still have pain.  I am swimming three days a week and doing Yoga or Pilates two times a week.  I am hoping I can strengthen my muscles more so that I don't use my back so much,  I am stiff and I hate the rigidity in my body.  It is not always present, but after sitting still it is.  Swimming is the best really.
So, I am whiney.  But truly I have had more joy in my life and my spirits have been hopeful.  This post doesn't show it though.  Maybe the next post.