Working through the pain of breaking up... still

A little bitchy PMS-ey - it's ok especially if I am aware of it so I give myself a break.  I went to a work meeting and training workshops, which are motivating :)  I went to an AA meeting as I try to do daily.  I ran into a guy who is pretty gossipy - and well I've resorted to talking to him about my ex since the breakup, but not recently.  (I rarely attend the meeting place where I saw him today)  The topic was on Step 10 in the 12 & 12 and particularly helpful in letting me see how dangerous "justifiable" anger can be to recovering alcoholics, and it spoke to me.  I shared in a general way about having a "resentment".  I didn't go into more detail about the resentment than that, but I was referring specifically to my ex bf.  Last night I went back over journals in my private diaries last year and I cried - it is so painful to think what I put up with for so long, and how much deeper his deception really was then I saw at the time.  I am looking for the healing in the process of reviewing which is quite painful. OK so the guy comes up and says afterwards, "You weren't talking about [your ex] were you?" My answer "maybe" -  probably more appropriately would have been "NEVERMIND". So he says "I saw him..." and I said "I don't want to hear about it."  Then he continues "Well the girl I saw him with, I like you a lot better." Anyway I'm like "I gotta go" as he says he wanted to show me something on the bulletin board, and he calls me back and I repeated it. The guy doesn't get the word "NO".   I usually don't hang around after the meetings or before.  I used to a lot at "our" old meeting place.  It got too gossipy with me hanging around the crazy tattoo guy (my ex), me little nice quiet conservative and him this spent most of his life in prison guy, and we just fell in love hard, and me having been celibate for years, anyway and him all around town, especially girls in AA - that's probably where he met her. So I drove home and cried and vented to Mom.  I don't want him back or anything. It' just painful to deal with this. I have changed what meetings I go to, which I went since I got sober and since before I met him, to keep our relationship issues and breakups private.  This avoiding my old meetings, which became his meetings and then "ours" started a year ago, though the final breakup wasn't until about 4 months ago - emotionally I have gotten entangled a lot more recently, until the "girlfriend" of his came into my awareness a month ago - as he was attempting to suck me back in to his "I'd give my live to ____ you one more time"  and other BS. So I go to these lengths to avoid hearing about him - his name came up a few weeks ago with another gossipy guy who felt the need to tell me he saw him, and again I said "I don't want to hear about him right now" just for him to go ahead "complete his thought".  People who knew us don't know I've suffered.  I don't go around saying I've been abused and he's done this or that.  I have dealt with this privately.  I have suffered in SILENCE. Progress - at least I am staying away, facing the truth for what it was and is, trying to protect myself from pain but realizing we live in an unsafe world and I need support right now to deal with the hazards - which to me are hearing about him from people who don't know me well enough to know how much I've suffered and am still suffering because of my choice to be with him.  Reality?  I need to pray to God to send some angels to cushion the blow, because it hurts. I knew I was taking a risk going there, and I had a feeling, and went anyway.  One of his close friend mom "his cheerleader" types attends that meeting sometimes.  It was in the neigborhood of work, and I do go there regularly on Saturdays, and have a commitment there the next couple weeks. It is a fact I dated someone super popular in AA, with a huge mouth, who didn't respect my privacy or me, and that I am still in that same program, and people still associate "me" with "him" - thank God I am making a new life for myself that doesn't include the abusive relationship with him, and staying out of further meeting entanglements - just for today. I know I need to pray for him and apply my 9th and 10th steps to my life and get my ball rolling towards the sollution - which is to live free from resentments, clean and sober.