Work, Life, and Home

Today was one of the worst days that I have ever had.  When do they start getting better?  I got a letter from unified today.  It said,"  Per the attached agreement, it was agreed that you could return to your Grade 4 position at ------- Elementary School if you were released by your doctor no later than August 15, 2008.  We have received a note from your doctor which authorizes you to be off work from March 2, 2008 to September 29, 2008.  Since you are not released by August 15, it is our decision to fill the Grade 4 position with another teacher.   Once you are released to work, you are eligible to return to a similar position for which you are certified.  If no position is available, your leave will be extended.  If you do not return to a position when offered, your employment status with the District will terminate. Regards,E.D. of H.R.  Before I received this letter this morning around 10, I got a call from the head person at the union.  He basically said that it was up to me to contact the principal to get my stuff out of the school.  It was up to me for everything.  He wasn't much support. Today at the grocery store, I ran into one of my old coworkers.  He said that the custodian had counted up the boxes of stuff that I had.  90 boxes.  I didn't think that I had that much stuff.  However, 12 years of teaching is a lot of stuff.  He gave me about four hugs in the middle of the grocery store and said best wishes to me.  My husband was mad that I talked to him for such a long time.   When we were at Sams Club today, my husband bought me 2 shirts and was really nice to me.  That was out in public. However, when we were at home today after grocery shopping, which by the way I had to pay for with my disability money( He kept throwing things into the cart and didn't care what the bill was because he assumed that I was buying the groceries.  He even made my daughter and myself come with so that he could sit on his butt tomorrow and do nothing.  I am sorry.  When you are on a budget and don't have  a lot of money, you don't sit and buy a lot of groceries at once and especially stuff without caring what you put in the cart.  That was the whole idea that we went together.   He wanted to have a cookout and have my sister come over tomorrow.  He hates my sister and her kids.  Now that is changed.  My grandparents are leaving for Arizona on Wed, Sept. 3.  I am probably going to go out there tomorrow to see them or on Monday.  My husband said, "  You didn't get invited.  Why in the heck are you going out there?" We were eating lunch together in the living room watching t.v. I let my husband read the letter that I posted at the top of this page and he went Balistic.  I was to the point that I told him that he was verbally and emotionally abusing me.  He didn't care.  He just kept going.  He said that I live in a rat hole, I will probably never go back to work, that I am not going to see the doctor at the panic clinic on September 17, because if the district finds out that my job will be terminated.  My daughter, who is 8, came in from the other room because her mother was crying and shaking so badly, and said mommy are you okay.  I said yes, I didn't want her to see me lose it and I sent her outside to play.   My head hurts so  bad right now.  I took my wedding rings off and threw them down on the floor.  I told him to pawn them and put them towards the bills.  It was okay for him to go to Sams today, act all nicey nicey put his stuff on a credit card, but when I bought groceries today with my disability money, it wasn't okay.  I told him to get out and leave me alone.  He kept coming back and attacking me verbally more.  I was to the point that I was shaking.  How can someone be so cruel.  I hate this man with my whole entire heart.  What I ever saw in him is now over.  He even brought up the name of the man that I once knew from a previous school to upset me.  What ever he said, upset me even more.  Help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!