Work is busy, I'm spending my energy on positivity

I will file police report finally and send in requests for other attorneys as nothing has hashed out yet.  After speaking with my new therapist, I've realized the negativity is really bringing on ptsd with nightmares and such.  Had really bad ones even with my medication.  

But the good news, I am starting to roll and things are getting exciting.  I can imagine a bright future ahead.  I will starve for a little while but it will be worth it (and a little while, i mean maybe 1 month more).  

It looks like cuts are already happening in government programs.  Tonight, I thought about how I would move forward without insurance and such.  We'll see if my boss can carry me on his plan and take it out of my check even though we are all independents.  I think he would take pity on me knowing my heart situation and the operations manager may have told him about my immunity problems.  Heck, they see my calendar with all my doctor appointments on it.  I never did get my breast cancer screening.  It's an hour away plus.  They have already cut out radiology from ACA Hmo plans in Texas!!!  For two years now.  I expect it to be decimated by end of March after the budget meeting.  They call it Medicaid cuts, well guess how ACA is funded?  Through Medicaid.  It's their back door way of eliminating it.  Sneaky bastards.  $880M cuts-?  where would that come from?  ACA, of course.  Texas already wouldn't accept the additional medicaid funds but Biden back doored much of the coverage through executive orders, etc.  Every year it has been this back and forth of cutting, putting back, cutting, putting back, but they have been cuttting cutting cutting, like the breast cancer screening, Are you f'g kidding me??  I would go up Governor Abbott and spit in his face for doing this, but I'd get arrested.  Scumbags taking away every female right we have.  It has seriously got me back to thinking I'll move back to California.  If I cannot get affordable healthcare, I'll have to for my health.  It would cost $1000-1500/month just for the premiums plus I need an additonal employee, so figuring that would be $3000/month.  I use to run these proposals back when i was selling health insurance to myself and my friends.  Then you could not get it even if you just had allergies.  Or they would exclude everything you had so it was worthless.  I'll have to re run what my options are but I expect it to collapse shortly.  I'm trying to bulk up on meds before the shutdown.

So, I am trying to take it in stride.  Not sleeping well, getting my cpap mask ordered and will try to schedule sinus surgery at next holiday break.  All I did was sleep over President's weekend.  I'm out of buproprion and it's hell.  My sleep is backward.  I'm hoping to get assistance for it.  They are not even answering the referred to hotline for the assistance number!!  I'm sure they are probably freezing all assistance already due to what's happenign with the USAID court decision.  At midnight tonight was the deadline and the Supreme Court jumped in to save Trump.  That's it, we have a dictatorship folks.  I fully expect the supreme court to allow Trump to do whatever he wants which means all these cuts they have already done are permanent.  No more USAID, No more Consumer Financial Protection Divison, no more Inspector Generals, No more Medicaid, cuts or deletion of medicare and ss income is next.  I'll just work until I die. Sigh