Wooohoo a week off from INR tests!

Well I had a surprise result today. Last time I was on antibiotics my inr dropped to 1.3 which kind of freaked me out a bit. I assumed the same thing would happen this time because I'm on the same ones but my reading was 2.5! A perfect result for me. They did say it could be because I am also on steroids and it will probably change when I come off them at the end of the week. I'm just going to enjoy the fact I won't be jabbed for a whole week. Maybe now is the time to explain that I'm needle phobic. Sweat pours from my hands and I pull my arm away a few times before they finally manage to stick me. I don't know why I am so frightened, it doesn't really hurt but my terror is genuine. It was made worse in hospital, they were taking my bloods every 4 hours and my veins started collapsing. They also struggled to get my blood gases and my arms were black and blue to the extent my mum had tears when she saw them. Anyway a whole week of no jabs is going to be heaven! I read my first post on this blog, i never said how I truly feel about this whole experience. I spoke to a dear friend about it, I said I didn't want to be self-pitying and he asked if that would really be such a bad thing. It made me think, after such a traumatic time, if you can't feel a bit sorry for yourself then when can you?When they told me I needed to be thrombolysed I remember feeling so alone. What a choice, have the treatment and possibly die or don't have it and probably die. It wouldn't have mattered how many people had been there, only I could sign that consent form. I did sign it and then lay there waiting while they contacted my family and got everything ready. When I think about the whole experience it is the loneliness that hits me every time. Once the treatment started it was different, I had 3 white faces staring at me, they were so worried and yet I just felt an immense calm, there was no way back and it was out of my hands. It's a liberating feeling although it really should be the exact opposite but when choice is taken away then you're free. Now there's something to ponder..