wont cry

today was last day of school. as much as i suck at school im pissed i cant go for like 17 days. its breakfast and its lunch and its a break from hell but whayever. i didnt wana go home cuz i new dad got payd today and be drunk off his ass so after school went to my frend kyles house. his familys like the perfect family. the perfect tv kinda family. the kind you see on tv and say wtf? they got nice place and they all like each other. none of them yell or talk shit to each other. his mom cooks and she cooks the best everything. his dads a c.o. at the prison but hes cool. he takes kyle fishin and campin and huntin and his dads cool to him and kyle says hes never hit him or talked shit on him. they got there place fixed up nice like all christmasd out. tree and shit. lights. they really get into it. I was hopin chill with them but they had some family shit to do and didnt want me hangin round. it was fuckin cold out but rode round on my board lokin for somethin do. stopedby the health clinic and went threw there free cloths and shit and got a lame ass jacket. it got to cold and started rainin and shit so had come home. dads sitin in chair with mean ass look on his face and whos dummb ass walks in? me. he flys off screamin at me slamed aginst wall and calin me worthles shit as usal and pulls a fuckin gun on me screamin at me. i amost cryed. still feellike it and i no what a fuckin pussy i am for even feelin like that. last time i cryd i was 8. damdad kickd my ass bad for that. real men dontcry. tryin not to feel. its ok to be alone and i dont need nobody. never have and its coolnot tomater cuz then nobody expects anything. christmas is nothin but cant wait for it to be over