Wondering

So...  Christmas has come and gone.  It was as good as it could be.  Thank goodness for 2 beautiful kindergarteners!  The look of delight on their faces when they got their Santa toys was worth so much.  They spent the whole day playing happily.  I say this because they tend to squabble a lot "I want the pink bowl."  "No you had it yesterday" etc etc  As there were only Joe, me Cevyn and the twins, we invited friends for dinner.  Their daughter was spending Christmas with her inlaws.

We didn't have the big crowd for dinner as is usual here for Cevyn.  Christmas is usually at Beth's brothers house.  The reason is that Beth,  Harvey's wife insisted on spending Christmas with her kids who live in Alberta and BC.  The problem is that she will not be vaccinated.  Hence she is on the no fly list.  She threatened to drive on her own - it is a 5 day road trip.  Harvey was not keen on it but finally said he would go with her.  I was ticked.  

This is the deal.  I have lost a child so I have a fair idea how Beth is feeling.  I get that she wants to be close to her kids.  I have tried to put myself in her place but I just can't.  I don't believe that I would have risked Joe's life (winter highways in Canada can be unpredictable - freezing rain can happen in an instant) in order to go to see Andrew.  And I don't think I would have insisted he leave his kid and grandkids for Christmas but that is how I feel.  If it was just that she wanted be with her kids,  but she has been agitating to move back to Alberta for a long time.  Cevyn said "She is probably house hunting already".  Am I just being selfish or is she sort of using it to get Harvey to move?  Harvey was grateful that we were here for Cevyn.  We are here for Cevyn no matter what but we are not her dad!

Harvey was supposed to be home for New Years but has been unable get a plane ticket.  With Covid, the airlines are canceling flights as so many of their employees are testing positive!  

New Years:  We will spend it quietly.  Cevyn has been invited to a party.  She isn't sure whether she will go.   She is depressed - and I get it.  She once said that we were her only family.  I think she is still thinking that.  She know we are here for her, no matter what.  

The loss of her step-brother, housemate and friend sure didn't help.  He was her best friend and confidante when it came to Beth, Harvey and that family.

On New Years last year, I thought we were going to have a better year.  Well THAT didn't happen.  I am trying to be optimistic but all I can think of is "What next".

Wishing all a Happy New Year filled with love, laughter, happiness and good health.  Begone Covid.

Lisa:  I miss you always and love you forever. Mummy

In