Wishing I could turn it off

I wish I could turn off the constant thoughts of my son. Things were getting better, it wasn't all consuming. Then we heard from him after a year of nothing. We are negotiating a meeting. This son, who I adored, we used to meet 2 or 3 times a week for lunch, spoke almost everyday on the phone, wondeful family dinners and holidays. Now, he won't see me without a counselor or his wife present. We'll see what happens next. It is nice to have this venue to vent. My husband just can't dwell on it anymore. I understand that, of the two of us he was most viciously attacked in the letters my son wrote. We all cope the best way we can. I have decided I will not give in to manipulation. He is almost 30 years old now, this a journey he must travel on his own. We will welcome him home if he chooses to see us. His sisters are also terribly hurt and may not want to have a relationship with him. He has burned many bridges, it will be up to him to rebuild them one by one. I thank God for my beautiful daughters and their support and love.