Wishing Christmas was over
I really do wish the holiday time was over. I am so tired of all the hype on TV. I hate that every time I go into a store I am bombarded with Christmas everything. I am tired of everyone expecting us to be happy. "What are you doing for Christmas?"
I am being a bit of a grinch. My moods fluctuate from minute to minute. I am up and down and up and down. We had some people over on Thursday for an Appies and Eggnog party. It was fun. I spent 3 days getting ready. It was fun but Lisa wasn't here. We laughed, drank eggnog (I made it and it was really good!) and ate. But Lisa wasn't here. And she wasn't in Ottawa - I couldn't phone her and tell her all about it.
So I am feeling the feelings and I know it will be okay.
We are going to Andrew's in Edmonton for the weekend. We are going to do the turkey thing. I'll do the turkey, Tiina is responsible for the vegetables, and Andrew will do his awesome mashed potatoes. Andrew is already looking forward to the croquettes on boxing day!
We will do our best to be happy and honor Lisa. She loved Christmas so we will do our best to enjoy it for her.
Lisa: I would like to tell you about the party. I know you were here but I just feel empty. So I will spend this week getting ready for the weekend. I will make some perogies for Andrew. and a pumpkin pie for Tiina. No matter how wonderful things can be, life will never hold the joy I felt when you were here. I miss you always and love you forever. Mummy
Replies
I'm with you Marlene! I know how you feel with all the Christmas hype, I hate it as well. Catherine loved Christmas too so I'm trying my very best to honour her. Our tree is up, we have added special baubles every year since she left us. Trying to focus on all the happy memories of being with Catherine, memories of childhood, of her opening her stocking and all the other happy times we shared as a family. Looking at the photos from those times helps me. Sending love and big hugs across the miles between us. Sue xxx
I understand and am with you my friend. You are doing your best and that is always enough no matter if there is a grinch one moment and one of Santa's elves the next. It's all okay as you said and remembering is where I find myself often when I'm in my thoughts. Thank goodness for some gentle and warm memories.
Your plans sound lovely and I know that Lisa is so sorely missed by all. I wonder if they can feel our collective heart beats at this time and sense that they can. Just wanting us to BE however we need to be and knowing it's enough, more than enough.
Onward courageous warrior mamas, we can do this and are.
Loving care dear Marlene, and SO much understanding,
XO Joanie
I know - I know. It was Ami's Angel day on Thursday and I have been in a negative space all week.
If I do things its because she loved Christmas so much and her babies are here with me.
It will get better as soon as its over...rose
I have the bah hum bug thing also, Tuesday is Mike's Angel date then comes Christmas. I must confess I am doing a bit better this year than most. It must be the meds LOL. I have tried to concentrate on the grand kids that is what is getting me to step forward. Mike did the tree I am not into that I was willing to put up the fiber optic little tree and be done with it.
I want to send you Christmas joy I understand your heart is not in it, but I do wish that one day it will be better.
Tightest of hugs
Penny
I am working hard to have the HO HO HO...but there is always that empty space in my heart.
Gentle care my friend,
AnnM
Marlene, I understand completely. I still am in disbelief that the world still spins, activities and holidays endure despite Eddie's passing because us moms are changed forever. I have found in the past 7 years that some years are just harder than others. I don't really know why but some are more depressing, some are gentler. Heck it all just hurts. Tight hugs and much love to you and dearest Lisa, Linda ♡
my heart is not in the Christmas spirit... I really hated having to play Christmas music for 3 weeks at work..... so hard..... not having a great time here either..... this year is not good..... love you dear friend. Nora