Wishes were horses

Oh Roger I got the tile in, you never got around to doing it, that was your lazy dazy way - I always had to be the starter, you were really retired.  But I wish you were here to touch the edges & trim on painting ya knew I hated that.  I also fixed the steps that were tilted for the last several yrs, painted the awful looking bird stand.  I am getting a few little things knocked out.  But so many of those little things - Cassie w/help me paint bedrms soon.
I think you w/be proud of me getting these done, nieghbor Steve came put in toilet, but valve broken so no potty yet.  I just so want to get shower & all in.  So many things to get done.  I wish I could go on a vacation for a few days, get away but can't. 
Roger I wish you could show me some signs - if you have you need to make a big neon sign.  Tyler got his first job, I hope you are standing beside him, giving him encouragement, he is so lost right now, age 16 & being depressed.  Please find a way to help him, he needed you so bad, you were his dad.  And a good one.
I wish they w/call me to work I need to get some extra income going, I am being to think I need to look elsewhere I thought I w/be working by now but they still have issues getting going. 
I am so upset w/your family & their feelings towards me.  Roger I never ever disliked them or felt ugliness towards them, why are they doing this?  Can you stop it all the way.  I am thinking if I move I will never have their existence close by but Mom being not well, the two grandkids here I am torn.  I wished before you left you had set things stricter well spelled out so I w/not have to be in this mess w/them.  It hurts.  Like all said - put them out of my mind forever, they were never a part of our lives nevr seen them that much so why am I so upset?  Because I do not like this drama when its blasted at me....I wish you had a better trail on how you handled your Moms monies w/have made it so much nicer for me.  Can you make a trail of paper work show up? 
I miss you, I still can not believe you never came back.  Its been 9 months 6 days, I am doing ok, just ok.  I do not like this alone stuff, when I married you I believed I w/be w/you til old old age.  I thought I w/be pushing your wheel chair, I really did.  Did you know I truly loved you when you left?  I hope so.. miss you so much