Wishes, hopes, and dreams and the defeatist mentality that is not helping!

Today I am very bummed out and kind of looking at things with a defeatist mentality. When I started writing this post is was mainly about housing and the desire to buy my own home and the outlook on the housing market right now. As I have been trying to not sit here and feel sorry for myself by completing actual tasks that I need to, I realize how bad the defeatist in my head is actually being at the moment. 

It started with just feeling like shit about the housing market and how it looks just to even think about buying a house with no money down and shitty credit. And as I listen to the people who are around me, I realize that I feel like I am one of the only people in my work social circle that really struggles and has had to struggle for my entire life. I have to work hard just to maintain the life I have, but it seems like everyone else just gets what they want when they want it. 

I keep trying to look at the positive things in my life, like having a family that loves me, and having a roof over my head, and a job that even though I complain about I enjoy going to. But a part of me just says that I have wishes, hopes, and dreams that I may never get to obtain because of the fact that nothing is ever just easy. I feel like I have to continue fighting and in the end I am just going to get nowhere.