Wish LIFE was MUCH Simpler.... Especially Wish LOVE was MUCH Simpler !
Just recently an ' Old Flame ', I guess You could call Him contacted Me Online, and said that He would LOVE to Talk to Me again. He asked Me for My Phone Number, and I didn't see ANY Reason I shouldn't give it to Him. Some of You May disagree with Me about this, since I do have a Boyfriend currently. But, the Thing is He currently has a Girlfriend, Himself. The ' Catch ' to This is, though... at least I THINK that This is what's going on... is that the Two of ' US ' - ( Him and I ) - truly Want to be With Each Other, but Life's circumstances make it difficult. There are certain ' Road Blocks ' in Our Way, and I'm not really sure how We'll get rid of Them... Or even IF We ever can. Just call ' Us ' a Modern Day Romeo & Juliet, I suppose.... in a Way, at least... since Our Love is essentially a ' Forbidden Love ' right now, but We CAN'T help it !We share a ' Connection ' that's undeniable. We can Both feel it as We speak to Each Other on the Phone. I can Hear it in His Words, and in His Voice, in general. When I first Met Him Online, We Both felt an Immediate Connection, and felt as IF We've Always known Each Other.... as IF We were Lovers in Another Life - You could almost say. We haven't even Met in Person YET, but that hasn't stopped Our Feelings for Each Other. Life's been Unkind to US, though, because it's seemed like Every Time We had a Chance to actually Meet in Person, it was taken away from Us at the Last Minute. Our Biggest Obstacle was when I was involved with My Last Boyfriend that was Abusive towards Me. He tried many times to convince Me to get rid of My Abusive Bf, but I just wasn't ready to yet.... I wasn't strong enough to break the Ties at that point... not just yet. I WISH TO GOD THAT I HAD BEEN NOW !!!!! I can't help but wonder IF Things would have been a LOT different right now, IF I had gotten rid of My ExBf when He - My ' Romeo ' - kept trying to convince Me to do so.Maybe IF I had done that back then... Maybe He wouldn't be with Someone Else now... MAYBE..... The Problem is that ' Maybes ' get You NOWHERE !MAYBES don't Answer ANY of the Million & One Questions swirling around in My Thoughts right now ! For Example.... the Main One being, " WHY WOULD FATE BRING TWO PEOPLE TOGETHER THAT SEEM SO RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER, AND THEN MAKE IT SO DIFFICULT FOR THEM TO ACTUALLY BE TOGETHER ?????!?!?!?!?! " IT'S NOT FAIR ! IT'S NOT FAIR AT ALL !!!!! SO.... WHERE DOES ALL OF THIS LEAVE ME ???????I WISH I TRULY KNEW !!!!THE ONLY THING I KNOW IS THAT RIGHT NOW I'M WITH SOMEONE THAT I'M NOT COMPLETELY HAPPY WITH, AND THE ' ONE ' THAT I TRULY WANT IS WITH SOMEONE ELSE !!!!!WHAT IF ANYTHING CAN I DO ABOUT THAT ?????? ANYTHING ????? After all, I can't make up My ' Romeo's ' Mind for Him. He has to decide WHO He TRULY WANTS ! IF He decides He Truly Wants the ONE that He's with Right Now, then I know that I'll have to accept that no matter how much it'll hurt Me to the Very CORE of My SOUL !!!! WHY CAN'T LIFE BE MUCH SIMPLER ????!?!?! I suppose in the Meantime.... while My ' Romeo ' is deciding what He TRULY WANTS... I should work on My Own Life, and do what's best for Me even that means to be ALONE - instead of with the WRONG GUY ! For HOW can Anyone say I'm with the " Right Guy ", when so Many of the Things He does Every Single Day, get on My Nerves SO MUCH ! He has so Many Habits that annoy Me a great deal ! I don't know HOW I can Truly Live, and be Happy, when I'm feeling so Frustrated, and Annoyed, so OFTEN ! Isn't that ENOUGH to call it QUITS ??????He doesn't think so, OF Course, since He'd have to find a New Place to Live.... PLUS, I'm sure He doesn't want to admit to Himself how ANNOYING He can be ! ANY TIME I've brought up how I feel, He ALWAYS says the Same Exact Thing.... " Over Time I'll ' get Used to it ', and that I just Need to Accept that it's How He is ! " What IF I CAN'T ACCEPT IT ????? WHAT THEN ???? ISN'T THAT WHEN IT'S TIME TO CALL IT QUITS ????