wiped out

i am emotionally drained. im so tired. trying not to feel but its not working. just want to remove my head knock it off and feel alive. need stop having pity party realize things could always be worse and stop beating myself up cause its getting very very old. life would be so much easier if a beautiful kind woman would just come knock on my door. no desire to end what i have although gut tells me i should and no desire to start over. just tired and lonely. and hate emotions.

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deleted_user
deleted_user

If the beautiful kind woman came knocking at your door would you even truly notice her? would you be able to be responsive to her? would you invite her into your life or push her away cause your busy practicing unhappiness? would you allow someone that could share happiness and laughter and who would miss you and want time together day to day into your life? would that be to easy? no desire to end what you have, I can respect that but then quest: where would that leave the one that came to you that truly was interested in your happiness and in a committed relationship, home and family??? hug.