Will see my husband soon
March 12-that'll be the first time that I'll see my husband since January 30. That'll be six weeks. What is more significant is that I'll hopefully be able to hug him for the first time in 4 months!!!
I'm nervous and excited at the same time. How much will he have changed? How much will I have changed? Will I be really nervous and talk incessantly? I have a tendency to do that.
Today I sent him another 3 page letter along with photos of me with my new wheels and a picture of our dog playing with her squeaky chicken! I hope he get's them and it brings a big cheesy grin to his face. Wish I could be there to see the expression on his face the first time he sees them.
I got two letters from him today and he's been called to work in the kitchen-not the hoe squad! He's scared to go out into the yard and get some fresh air-staying mostly close to his barracks. Man, I don't blame him-I'd be scared shitless myself. Please pardon the cursing-gotta vent somewhere. I guess it's smart-waiting to see how things are going to pan out with other inmates before venturing out. He's situated in barracks with 40 other guys-sheesh. Talk about warehousing. But, that's prison life. He hates it of course-man, it's a catch 22. He hated being alone in intake, hates it with 40 others. He'll deal with it and acclimate over time. At least now he'll have stuff to do other than eat, read, walk around the barracks, eat, sleep, etc. He's keeping to himself-good for him.
He's a sociable guy-just really cautious about who he interacts with. I love this man so much and I just keep hoping for the day that he'll be paroled will be sooner rather than later. He's asked me twice to appeal to the governor for executive clemency. It's not likely given that we have a right wing nutjob for a governor here in AR.
Peace out my friends.
I'm nervous and excited at the same time. How much will he have changed? How much will I have changed? Will I be really nervous and talk incessantly? I have a tendency to do that.
Today I sent him another 3 page letter along with photos of me with my new wheels and a picture of our dog playing with her squeaky chicken! I hope he get's them and it brings a big cheesy grin to his face. Wish I could be there to see the expression on his face the first time he sees them.
I got two letters from him today and he's been called to work in the kitchen-not the hoe squad! He's scared to go out into the yard and get some fresh air-staying mostly close to his barracks. Man, I don't blame him-I'd be scared shitless myself. Please pardon the cursing-gotta vent somewhere. I guess it's smart-waiting to see how things are going to pan out with other inmates before venturing out. He's situated in barracks with 40 other guys-sheesh. Talk about warehousing. But, that's prison life. He hates it of course-man, it's a catch 22. He hated being alone in intake, hates it with 40 others. He'll deal with it and acclimate over time. At least now he'll have stuff to do other than eat, read, walk around the barracks, eat, sleep, etc. He's keeping to himself-good for him.
He's a sociable guy-just really cautious about who he interacts with. I love this man so much and I just keep hoping for the day that he'll be paroled will be sooner rather than later. He's asked me twice to appeal to the governor for executive clemency. It's not likely given that we have a right wing nutjob for a governor here in AR.
Peace out my friends.
Replies
If he has work and gets on with it, he\'ll be OK especially with the added hope of contact visits. Lawyers cost money to \"ask for executive clemency\" money probably better spent elsewhere with right wing nuts \'in power\" One of the dangers once they hit the prison system is that everybody \'churns\' their case. Hoping against hope get pretty expensive. I have crossed far too many lawyer\'s palms with silver and gotten nothing back except frustration and an education in cynicism. He needs to find some other path toward \'hope\' like working in the kitchen and eventually finding courage to face the yard. I\'m not trying to be funny but it\'s sort of like taking your kid to school. You have to let them have room to grow even while you are there for them and they know you\'ll be back to pick them up at the end of every day. You are his wife and you can\'t afford to mother him too much, can\'t take on his fears. You can\'t pay for useless requests for executive clemency. You (and he) really can\'t afford baseless hope. Sounds like he\'ll soon \'man-up\' and you\'ll get to be with the man you love in or out of prison.
He knows executive clemency is a pipe dream & he just vents when expressing it. I do plan on approaching his former lawyer that turned deputy prosecutor during his case to request he write on his behalf for release when he has his parole hearing. Lawyer owes him that.
I am glad you finally get a contact visit. Those are precious after seeing them behind glass. I hope he will be ok. Like the others said, he just has to start doing it, and it will probably be ok.
Mine used to always try to get out early, tried any way he could. Never happened. Now again, he is trying something. Won\'t tell me what, but said don\'t get my hopes up. He said he wouldn\'t explain because it probably won\'t happen.
Mine is in a 16 man room now and hates it. Says it\'s noisy. I can\'t imagine the lack of privacy they feel. He used to have his own room. It was his refuge from the idiots and scary people there. I hate how they look people up, but gotta admit he has had me do it for him too. Only when someone is being an ass.
Vent, swear, whatever you need to on here. I do it too. We get so mad, those words feel better than Oh gosh golly jeepers creepers. Those are just silly and don\'t feel good. Believe me I have even called my guy a naughty name while at home when he is a jerk, or don\'t call. For some reason it feels better than crying.
I think we can\'t even imagine the fear those guys have, and men were taught to be tough. Must be hard. But you can\'t show you are scared in there or they will really get to you.
Glad you will be able to finally have a contact visit. They are precious after no contact visits. I went for 7 months with no contact visits. The contact visits are great. It is so nice to be able to sit and talk with no glass between you and talking on a phone.
Just make sure you take a change of clothes in case for some reason they do not like what you are wearing.
Your husband should feel lucky to only be with 40 guys, my husband is in a dorm of 140 guys just on his floor.
Enjoy the visit