Will it get easier?

Some times it is so hard to stay positive.  Especially when you are so tired and you slept terrible.  I try so hard to embrace where I am today and not live in the past.  Most days I do a great job.  Then, every now and then, I get incredibly sad.  I sang with my husband at Church on the Beach this weekend.  I used to be an Ocean Lifeguard.  It was weird to sit on the beach and watch the water and know that I can no longer do what I did for 20 years.  The smells, the memories, the sense of accomplishment and pride I used to feel.  I was sad yesterday.  I miss being able to run or walk with out worrying I will fall.  I miss being sore from working out.  The only time I am pain is because of MS.  I hate feeling like a prisoner in my body.  I miss being able to do things and not get overtired.  Today I am sad.

Replies

guysgurl
guysgurl

I can so relate to what you are feeling.. I just wish I had something to say that would help. I like the idea of Church on the Beach :o) Maybe I would start going again if I was able to attend it like that ;) jk
Almost everyday, there seems to be some reminder of my old self. Some days, I\'m good with things... other days, I am homesick for that old me. I think everyone has to grieve their loss in their own way and their own time table. And even if it\'s been years since diagnosis, it doesn\'t matter.
Sending prayers your way to help you through this time...
Tracy
deleted_user
deleted_user

i too miss the old me i used to be a vet and i specialized in rotteweilers so every time i see a rottie i get sad cuz i just cant do that any more. they r so strong one jump and depending on how strong i can be knocked over and really hurt but that was my past and now i must live in the present and enmbrace my future and whatever that may hold for me. sounds good doesnt it now i just gotta believe that garbage lol oh well time will tell take it easy stay strong.